There is a popular quote among Latter-day Saints that I worry has become distorted. It is a small snippet quoted in lesson manuals and general conference dozens of times over the years.
Versions of this quote have been painted on farmhouse-style wood signs and heard over the pulpit in countless sacrament meetings. All versions say something like, “No success compensates for failure in the home.”
It’s a lovely thought, but without larger context, it can be twisted to mean a handful of things that evoke guilt and perhaps even shame.
What We Get Wrong about Successful Homes
For example, maybe you’ve heard this quote and thought that since your home isn’t perfect, maybe you’ve failed.
Maybe your family looks different than you’d like. Maybe your kids are on a faith journey that’s taken them away from the Church. Maybe you or someone in your family struggles with pornography. Maybe you’re a single parent, struggling to make ends meet.
Maybe you hear that saying, and you feel you have failed.
But this quote isn’t about what a failure in the home looks like. It’s about what success in the home looks like.
Let’s look at the actual quote.
We Need to See the Bigger Picture
The quote, written by author J.E. McCulloch, was shared 60 years ago at the 134th Annual General Conference by the then-prophet, President David O. McKay.
The exact phrase is: “No other success can compensate for failure in the home.”1
It’s nestled in a paragraph that starts with a stark warning to people who put business or pleasure above their home—a call to make the home your first priority.
President McKay is speaking in very plain terms: nothing is more important than family.
But it’s the words that follow the common quote that expanded its meaning for me. They are beautiful words that will allow us to stop seeing a small saying that induces guilt and instead find a sweet reminder of God’s care for us.
President McKay continued, “The poorest shack in which love prevails over a united family is of greater value to God and future humanity than any other riches. In such a home God can work miracles and will work miracles.”
In a world where the modern family, more often than not, doesn’t look like the ideal “celestial” family, I take heart in his words.
Where love prevails, God can work miracles. He will work miracles.
What Really Defines a Successful Home
The quote isn’t about us failing or succeeding in the home. It’s about keeping our focus on God so He can work miracles in our home.
The adversary wants to distract you from love, from God. He knows you want to feel successful, and if he can make you think you’re failing at parenting, then he will tempt and distract you with success elsewhere.
This quote isn’t meant as a condemnation. It doesn’t mean we will or even should be perfect parents. And it doesn’t mean that our children will follow paths we think they should.
But it does mean that we need to uninvite the adversary from our homes and keep our eyes focused on God and His love. And our efforts to share that love—even imperfectly—with our family is what defines a successful home.
“No other success can compensate for failure in the home.”
When I read this now, I see it for what it is—a beautiful reminder that love is the key and that God’s priority should be ours. Because where love is, God can and will work miracles.
Even, especially, in our imperfect families.
Other articles on home and family:
▶ This important line from general conference might help you worry less about your adult children
▶ 6 spiritual questions your teens are sincerely asking—and how to answer them
▶ What Pres. Holland says every teacher and leader needs to do often
▶ 6 ways to build a lasting bond with your grandkids
Notes
1. Quoted from J. E. McCulloch, Home: The Savior of Civilization (1924), 42; in Conference Report, Apr. 1935, 116. Find it here: https://catalog.churchofjesuschrist.org/assets/368c2158-0480-489d-9318-661165871514/0/117
