One of the temple recommend questions is, “The Lord has said that all things are to be ‘done in cleanliness’ before Him (Doctrine and Covenants 42:41). Do you strive for moral cleanliness in your thoughts and behavior? Do you obey the law of chastity?”
How can we teach our youth about what moral cleanliness looks like and why it matters?
The updated For the Strength of Youth manual provides an encouragingly clear guide for parents and leaders to follow. Rather than the listing dos and don’ts of moral cleanliness, the manual teaches mature principles for decision-making.
This approach reminds me of the way my mom taught me to be wary of deceivingly benign filth.
When Piles of “Man-oo-er” Arrive
My family used to live in the middle of nowhere. (Drive as far as you can see, then turn left. Somewhere around there.)
One day, my parents ordered a massive shipment of soil for our garden. When the dump truck arrived, my siblings and I were ecstatic. We grabbed our plastic shovels and buckets and tumbled outside, whooping with glee.
My siblings eventually lost interest and ran off to play with the neighbor kids. Not me. I plunged my arms shoulder-deep into the loose soil, flinging my shovel and laughing as dirt landed in my hair, spilled into my overalls, and even flicked into my mouth.
Noticing my revelry from the kitchen window, my mom covertly called me inside. I breathlessly skipped away from the dirt pile, eager to return.
“Yeah, Mom?”
“I just wanted to let you know,” my mom began carefully, “That’s not just dirt. It’s got manure in it. For the garden.”
“What’s … ma-noo-er?” I asked, already dreading the answer.
“ … It’s cow poop,” she conceded. Seeing my immediate horror, she stifled a laugh, “You’ll be OK!”
My seven-year-old heart sank. I absentmindedly reached for my hair, which suddenly seemed to reek of “man-oo-er.”
“Do you want to go shower?” my mom asked gently. I nodded.
The dirt pile was, in the long run, harmless fun. But my mom knew me well enough to know that I would care to know what I was playing in. She gave me information that would help inform my future decisions.
The Voice from the Kitchen Window
The world’s metaphorical “dirt piles” can be much more dangerous. And spending time in them can have lasting effects. So we often echo warnings of “filth” to avoid and counsel on ways to stay “clean.” To teenagers, sometimes these messages can feel like being singled out and called away from an enormously fun dirt party. “The other kids are stomping and sliding all over the dirt; why can’t I?”
But those who can see from the kitchen window—those who have a bit more experience with manure—know why it’s worth navigating the world’s dirt piles with caution. The updated For the Strength of Youth manual is a fantastic example of how we can offer this kind of spiritual coaching. How could you implement these principles as you teach?
- Do your best to improve each day.
- Keep God’s commandments and honor your covenants.
- Help others come closer to the Savior.
- Spend time in places and activities where His Spirit is present.
- Set healthy boundaries to keep yourself safe.
- Spend time with those who help you keep your commitments to Jesus Christ.
- Seek that which uplifts, inspires, and invites the Spirit.
- Seek wholesome experiences and real and lasting relationships.
It’s not a rubric of dos and don’ts. It’s a series of guidelines. If you’re looking for an encyclopedia of exactly which media to avoid, words not to say, things not to wear, and places not to go, you won’t exactly find it. What you will find are wise instructions that refine our ability to see manure for what it really is.
Encountering it is inevitable. What we do before and after those encounters is what matters.
With as much gentleness as my mom suggesting a shower to make me feel better, prophets and Church leaders direct us toward repentance. Our youth are earnestly learning how to navigate the world, and they deserve to be taken seriously in their efforts. With a renewed focus on skill-building principles, we’re equipped to make a real difference in how they see themselves.
Safety on the Swing Set
My mom didn’t shame me for playing in the dirt. She offered me an insight that would elevate my perspective on where it would be more fun to play: “When you’re done showering,” she’d said, “Your sister would love for someone to swing with her.” She pointed out the window at the swing set my dad had recently built for us. I returned to the backyard to play but kept my distance from the dirt pile. Instead, I joined my little sister on the swings. She and I had a great time together.
Life experience naturally lends itself to wisdom. Life experience hand-in-hand with the Spirit, though, has the power to elevate each successive decision we make with a real desire for all things clean and good.
Perpetual guilt is not cleanliness. Neither is perpetual disdain. Only a divine, case-by-case guide could help us each find comforting, consistent cleanliness. As the For the Strength of Youth manual teaches:
“The Holy Ghost will comfort, guide, warn, and sanctify you. He will help you recognize truth and see the good in the world…. Heavenly Father has given you access to heavenly light—the gift of the Holy Ghost—to help you see clearly what is good and bad, right and wrong.”
The Spirit is incredibly good at drawing clear lines with love. Dump-truck dirt piles aren’t nearly as fun as the swings and slides Dad built for us, anyway.
For more insights on strengthening and teaching youth, check out the following articles.
► 3 things adult leaders can do to help the rising generation
► 10 hopeful quotes from Elder Uchtdorf’s message to YSAs
► What youth need to hear most about the world today
► 6 spiritual questions your teens are sincerely asking—and how to answer them
