Recently, I listened to a beautiful discussion about how love helps us see others as God sees them—even after painful disagreements or endings. Author Taylor Ricks Mele joined a group of women on the Magnify podcast to talk about Steve Young’s new book, The Law of Love in Action. In the book, Taylor shares her experience moving forward from a divorce.
Taylor said that initially, she felt hesitant to write about the end of her first marriage. “I was like, ‘Let me think of anything to talk about besides that,’” she says. “[But] I felt like I needed to be vulnerable to share that [because] I am sure that others are going through similar things, and it’s such a difficult journey.”
After the divorce, Taylor says she struggled to know how to approach her relationship with her ex-husband and support their children. In The Law of Love in Action, she wrote:
“I thought hate would be easier than love. If I hated my ex, then I would not have to feel sad for the loss of our family and marriage. However, the opposite was true. While the love required between man and wife had dissolved, a new love began to appear. I could love him as a co-parent, father to my children, and as a person who taught me incredible things. I could meet him where he was and embrace who he was, as he was.
“As I started to do this, life changed. We began to celebrate the kids’ birthdays together; the children freely went between our homes; we talked about issues our children faced and resolved them with loving kindness. He genuinely cared about my happiness, and I cared about his.
“When I began dating my current husband, both men respected each other in their roles in my life and in the lives of our children. We began working together as a team to support the kids and one another in this crazy life of ours.
“The only thing that made any of this possible was love. God taught me that love can change and evolve over time, and even through brokenness, there can be peace again.”
Learning that love was easier than holding onto her hurt changed everything for Taylor and her family. But she acknowledges that this shift was neither easy nor quick.
True healing involved processing her feelings of sadness and anger and turning to God and the Savior to see her ex-husband with new eyes.
If you can’t get to a place of love for someone who has hurt you yet, Taylor recommends turning to prayer as a first step. “It’s okay to pray to want to love that person, and then pray to start seeing them how God does and build on it ‘line upon line.’ … Asking Heavenly Father to give us a little glimpse into how much He loves His children will pretty much get us going on the right path every time.”
Hear more of Taylor’s insights on the Magnify podcast, available in the player below or on your favorite streaming platform. You can also read Taylor’s excerpt in The Law of Love in Action.
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