Thanksgiving is a wonderful time to gather with loved ones and recognize the divine blessings in your life. To nurture gratitude at your family’s Thanksgiving dinner, you might ask the following question:
“What is one way someone has served you this year?”
This question is simple, but it can strengthen family relationships, foster happy feelings, and even boost resilience. Here are some ideas to fold it into your family’s unique dinner conversation dynamic.
Ideas for Initiating Conversation
- Print out this design to add to your Thanksgiving centerpiece, or give a printed copy to everyone to write down their answers. After each person has shared their response, you could put up the answers on the wall to display during dinner.
- To get your family thinking before the meal, you could also text the file to your loved ones in advance.
- Offer to share your answer to the question first. This initiative can help give others time to think and build everyone’s comfort levels.
- Consider recruiting a spouse or child to go second to keep the gratitude momentum going.
- Bring in humor and focus on keeping things light—not every answer has to be emotional, deep, or life-changing! For example, you could share how someone served you by sending a funny meme or video to brighten your day.
- Ask follow-up questions to prevent any awkward silences and help the speaker feel heard.
- Consider the “popcorn” method by having the last person who shared assign the next person to speak. You could even use some kind of “talking stick,” like a Thanksgiving decoration or serving utensil.
- Offer a Thanksgiving prayer after your conversation to acknowledge God’s hand in your family’s life.
- You might invite the person saying the prayer to acknowledge the people who served your loved ones this year—and ask for guidance about whom your family can support, too.
Now that you can picture how to incorporate this question, here are a few reasons why this prompt can so powerful.
1. Recognizing Angels
This question is an easy way to help your loved ones “see what God hath done” in your lives. It can even help you recognize the presence of angels.
As President Jeffrey R. Holland has suggested:
“[N]ot all angels are from the other side of the veil. Some of them we walk with and talk with—here, now, every day. … Indeed heaven never seems closer than when we see the love of God manifested in the kindness and devotion of people so good and so pure that angelic is the only word that comes to mind.”
Expressing gratitude is beneficial not only for the people sharing appreciation but also for the receivers of these kind words. Even though not everyone at your Thanksgiving dinner table might be mentioned in a comment, research suggests there’s still a “witnessing effect” from hearing others express their gratitude for someone. This outcome is correlated with having more positive feelings about both the expresser and recipient of thankfulness, promoting stronger relationships in general.
So, while this special question can help your family recognize angels in the short term, the benefits last long beyond eating mashed potatoes and turkey. As the well-known hymn suggests, “Count your many blessings; angels will attend, / Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end.”
2. Promoting Divine Love
Research also suggests that expressions of gratitude can motivate us to improve our relationships, including our connection with God.
A study by Brigham Young University found that those who expressed their appreciation to others or God demonstrated higher levels of empathy and “transcendent indebtedness”—a sense of recognizing others or God as the source of their blessings. These grateful people also showed a higher likelihood of offering love and service in turn.
As Sister Bonnie D. Parkin, former Relief Society General President, said:
“Gratitude is a Spirit-filled principle. It opens our minds to a universe permeated with the richness of a living God. … When we communicate gratitude, we can be filled with the Spirit and connected to those around us and the Lord.”
3. Fortifying Your Family
Finally, expressing gratitude can help your family feel more supported and resilient when facing challenges. Research suggests this benefit extends across a variety of situations, including severe health challenges like cancer or material concerns like financial challenges.
President Russell M. Nelson has taught that even if our circumstances don’t change, gratitude can help us access greater comfort and perspective:
“No matter our situation, showing gratitude for our privileges is a fast-acting and long-lasting spiritual prescription. Does gratitude spare us from sorrow, sadness, grief, and pain? No, but it does soothe our feelings. It provides us with a greater perspective on the very purpose and joy of life.”
Regardless of how you express gratitude this Thanksgiving, we hope you and your loved ones can look for the Lord’s hand in your lives and experience His all-encompassing love and joy. Happy Thanksgiving!
For more ideas to support your Thanksgiving celebration, check out the articles below.
▶ Pause the Christmas music—this new Thanksgiving anthem puts gratitude on full blast
▶ 10 things we forget to be grateful for
▶ A moment when we all need to give ourselves more grace
