Happiness

Maybe in the biggest moments of our lives, we see a clear path to the Savior. But the real battle is won in the daily challenges of life.

For me, learning to love life didn’t come naturally and most days, life didn’t feel very fun.

We love all our LDS Living readers and social media followers.We have seen time and time again the way you—our friends—embody the statement in 4 Nephi 1:16:

An injury to her right hand could have left Savannah bitter; Instead, she let it motivate her to share her positivity with a worldwide audience.

Meet Emeobong (Eme) Martin whose “peachy disposition” has blossomed into a life of sweet and significant service.

We all have difficult, challenging, painful experiences in life. Though never pleasant, these experiences can teach us perspective, love, humility, endurance, patience, and ultimately how to be more like God.

When I was about 13 years of age, a new family moved into our ward. They had a 12-year-old son. He and I had some things in common. He was the oldest in his family; I was the oldest in my family. He had an alpha male personality; I had an alpha male personality. But perhaps the thing we had most in common was a very strong dislike for one another. I don’t know why—we didn’t even know each other well enough to be enemies. Yet it was true that we did not get along at all.

This story was originally published by LDS Living in November 2016.

When I was a seminary student many years ago, I loved short scripture mastery scriptures, as they were easy to memorize. One still lingers in my mind today: “Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy” (2 Nephi 2:25). Back then, this scripture didn’t mean much to me besides being an easy “check off” on my scripture mastery list. Now 30 years later, after disappointments and stress and challenges and heartbreak, this scripture carries more personal meaning. If men and women exist to be joyful and happy, they why do so many seem to be unhappy and depressed? If happiness is the design of our existence, has that design been thwarted?

After explaining the concept of FOMO (fear of missing out) to my dad, he laughed and said, “Yeah, at my age, I’m pretty much over that.” Then he paused for a minute and said, “Or am I?”

Health and happiness are something we all desire. Many people claim to have found the solution to lasting health and happiness and are quick to offer answers in a nice package that can conveniently be shipped to our front door. But often the results of these products and programs leave us feeling like something is missing.

Are you trying to be happier and healthier in 2019? Attending church could be a step in the right direction, according to a new Pew Research Center analysis.

Losing 140 pounds is no easy feat. Just ask Trent Heppler. Never in a million years did he believe that he would one day shed the weight, let alone run a marathon. But Heppler learned that the power to overcome his physical weaknesses—whatever they may be—comes from a spiritual strength gained through the Savior, Jesus Christ. Growing up overweight and self-conscious, Latter-day Saint Trent Heppler always felt that exercise was just another form of torture invented to make him feel inadequate.

The only piece of jewelry I wear is my wedding ring. Like most people, I wear it on the ring finger of my left hand. That’s what I’m used to. That’s where it belongs. Right?

A few months ago, I received a strong impression to write on a specific topic. It was a welcome revelation, because as far as my writing has gone, it has seemed that God has had no strong feelings on what I should write. I know He cares about my hobbies and interests, of course, but as I’ve prayed about what to write in recent years, passing ideas by Him or asking for direction, it’s almost been as though His answer has been, “Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. You could do that. Whatever you feel you want to do is fine with me.”

We’ve been taught that we all have spiritual gifts. I believe anyone can learn to have a more positive outlook, but I think it’s also possible for people to be born with the gift of being optimistic, of seeing things through a positive lens. Others of us get to develop that gift as we go along.

When discussing the purpose of life, we often hear the mantra “we are here to be tested,” but how many of us cringe at that thought? So few of us want to feel like a kid again sitting in a classroom taking a test on things we don’t remember, we don’t understand, and we can’t leave until we finish. Comparing life to a test can be a downer and not the inspirational mantra that it should be. But if we look at life as a lesson we learn from over and over again as more things become clear, we can gain the inspiration we need to improve. We didn’t learn algebra before we learned addition. Life can be viewed as a continual learning process, not the end test. It’s more about what we are learning and becoming than about having all the right answers.

In my current employment responsibilities, I often meet with homeless individuals. Recently, I met with a man who had been homeless for many years. His clothes were tattered and dirty. He carried all of his possessions in a small backpack. We had met to talk about his mental health condition—specifically, any symptoms that might prevent him from working. He told me he had a history of anxiety and depression. While his anxiety symptoms had become more crippling, the depression had surprisingly lessened over time. I asked him why he believed the depression symptoms had decreased. He said, “I’ve been trying to think about all the good things in my life. Each day I get up and think about the good. I’ve found that makes me less depressed.”

"When you're going through a bad situation, open your mind and see those small and tender mercies because they really are there," Josh Holt says.

From the day my first child was born I loved and treasured being a mother. I felt great joy in nurturing, teaching, and loving God’s precious children, and I was grateful to be able to stay at home to care for my children.

Everyone wants to be happy—and for good reason. Happy people earn more money and are more likely to get married and stay married. They also attract more friends, are more productive at work, and even outlive their gloomier counterparts by about nine years.

Recently, I was reminded of the struggles we all face when trying to complete tasks that seem too great for our abilities. In the musical Dear Evan Hansen, a wonderful song entitled “So Big, So Small” tells the story of a single mother and her feelings of inadequacy about having to raise her son alone. As she reflects on her efforts, she sings, “I knew there would be moments that I’d miss, and I knew there would be space I couldn’t fill, and I knew I’d come up short a billion different ways; and I did, and I do, and I will.”

Imagine you are trying to drive to a place that you have never been. Fortunately, you have modern technology and a trusty GPS to give you turn-by-turn instructions. You input the address and commence your journey with confidence. A pleasant and familiar voice says, “Turn right in one quarter mile.” Then unexpectedly, a different but also pleasant voice says, “That’s not right. Stay straight in one quarter mile.” As you get closer to the turn, the competing voices speak again. “Right turn in 500 feet,” says the familiar voice. The other voice speaks, “Don’t listen to her. She is running outdated software. You need to go straight. Besides, who is she to tell you what to do?”

Conference Talk:

Have you ever been surprised and frustrated by people whose phones go dead right in the middle of the day? It seems like such a basic thing to plug it in at night. But sometimes finding your charger is just too much at 11 p.m., or maybe you have an older phone that won’t hold a charge. Lucky for us lesser mortals, there’s power save, which rations power by cutting nonessential functions.

What a powerful article from the September 2017 Ensign:

Even amid the day-to-day struggles of being a mother, there are ways we as members of the Church can find joy always.

When the Church released the Christmas video "A Savior is Born" in December 2015, LDS teen Annie Weight noticed it repeated the word "rejoice" several times. She was touched by its hopeful message and felt inspired to live a more positive lifestyle. "Throughout the Christmas season and the beginning of the new year, I thought a lot about joy, what it meant to others, and what it meant to me," said Weight. "After a lot of thought, I decided that I wanted to be happier with my life and I decided to start keeping a list of all the things in my life that made me happy."

I recently came across an opinion that believed that enduring to the end contradicts happiness. This opinion believed that one can’t be happy while enduring; therefore, one must choose, and happiness (the world’s definition of happiness) is the better choice. Sentiments like this one are quite common today. Happiness has been redefined to meet the world’s standards. And according to the world, happiness redefined trumps following the Lord’s commandments.

Though happiness can sometimes seem elusive, there are a few things we can do to increase our chances of finding—and keeping—happiness. Beloved LDS speaker Hank Smith shares a few of them:

Life sometimes feels like being in a riptide, those powerful currents that run underneath the ocean. If you're in one and you try to swim directly to shore, the riptide will drag you back out to sea. As you continue to try to make forward progress, it will sap your strength. Many people have died trying to make it to the shore in a riptide. The key to surviving is to swim parallel to the beach until you find a safe area where there is no riptide.

Sharing the words of Elder Richard G. Scott, Elder Soares said enduring happiness comes from “what you are, not what you have.”

When I thought of heaven, I visioned a physical location where my true happiness would finally start. It was a place where challenges did not exist, stresses of life were gone, and I would be with amazing family and friends forever.

At the 2017 RootsTech conference, author Rachel J. Trotter met with New York Times best-selling author Bruce Feiler and learned five key secrets to a happy family.

In scripture, God tells His saints to “be of good cheer.”

Elder C. Scott Grow offers simple daily advice to those of us seeking eternal happiness in a list of just 10 principles:

It’s no secret that there are some very specific myths in Mormon culture. These can range from our family size (15 kids and counting!) to our vocabulary (“oh, my heck!”), and even to our food (green jello, anyone?). While certainly not all (or even most) Mormons embody these stereotypes, most of us can have a good laugh at them from time to time.

"You don't 'find happiness'—you work for it," a recent Facebook post by the Church states. Take just one minute out of your day to feel more happiness, to feel more inspired, and the feel more optimistic today with this sweet message from President Thomas S. Monson!

As Americans, our "pursuit of happiness" is actually causing extreme anxiety. At least according to British journalist and documentarian Ruth Whippman, who spent years traveling the country researching happiness.

Happiness ultimately boils down to two essential components—at least according to a Harvard study that took 75 years to complete. But these components are something Church leaders were sharing long before the study was ever published.

Here are four tips Elder Holland shared to build a happier life now in the September issue of the Ensign. Number four definitely surprised me:

Here are six simple reminders that might help you find a little more happiness even in trying times.

What a powerful moment from this article: "There was a time in my life when I complained about every difficulty and thought I had it much tougher than others. Then I was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer, a disease for which there is no cure, and realized that I did not want to spend the rest of my days being ungrateful for every breath."

My wife and I recently went to Austin, Texas, to go to a concert with another couple. We got to the venue and saw a line wrapped around the block. After going into an underground lot and practically signing away our first child for permission to park there, we found the venue again and proceeded to walk three blocks to the end of line. After waiting for a while, the women had to use the restroom. Thirty minutes later, they came back with new shoes they had bought (I was confused, but my buddy who has been married a few years longer than me didn’t look surprised at all).

For those of you looking for a short pick-me-up, something to remind you to stand strong and smile even in your struggles, you need to read this message from President Dieter F. Uchtdorf.