Recently, I was scrolling through my social media feed after a long, but good, day. I smiled at my friends’ updates. Summer vacation pictures. Kids going back to school. Funny musings. There were even some somber posts of loss or pain. I like and comment—it’s one of the ways I stay connected to my friends near and far.
And then, there it was. An unexpected post from a member friend was antagonistic towards the Church. Initially, I was surprised. I had been aware this friend was struggling, but the level of negative emotion and accusation in this post took me by surprise.
Something else took me by surprise—some of the reactive feelings this post elicited in me. A flash of anger that something I love was being attacked. A deep pain for my friend’s pain. A sorrow for the negativity in the comments. So many different emotions.
Perhaps you’ve experienced this too—a complicated reaction to the criticism of the gospel and Church you love.
Sometimes criticism of truth can spark surprising feelings in us like stress, anxiety, fear, and perhaps even doubt—even if our faith is strong. Especially when the criticism comes from those we love and trust or is presented in a harsh and accusatory manner.
These feelings do not mean our faith isn’t strong. They are often a normal, human reaction. So how can we alleviate feelings of stress or anxiety after encountering criticism? Here are five suggestions to help you recenter on faith and regain your peace.
How to Recenter on Faith and Regain Peace
1. Recognize that truth has always been criticized. Criticism is not proof the Church isn’t true. Nor is it new to Jesus and His followers. Since the council in our premortal life, the gospel of Jesus Christ has had its detractors (see Moses 4:3).
The Savior, Himself, was intimately familiar with criticism, and He knew His followers would be. In His famous Sermon on the Mount, He said, “Blessed are ye when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely for my sake. Rejoice, be exceedingly glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you” (Matthew 5:11–12) When you are a witness to criticism of Truth, take that it is proof that you are standing with millions of Saints throughout time. And yes, you will be blessed.
2. Believe that Heavenly Father can help us. If criticism sparks questions or doubts in your mind about certain points of doctrine, choose to seek answers from the Lord rather than the critics. It’s a truth well-known that people can find whatever they are looking for. Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf explained that “if we seek reasons to be angry, to doubt, to be bitter or alone, we will find them.” Conversely, he noted that “if we seek joy—if we look for reasons to rejoice and to happily follow the Savior, we will find them.”
Seek God for peace and for understanding and discernment. Pray. Take your questions to Him. Then listen to what He has to say.
3. Fan the flames of your faith. If criticism introduces questions, President Jeffrey R. Holland suggested, “Honestly acknowledge your questions and your concerns, but first and forever fan the flame of your faith, because all things are possible to them that believe.” Take a few minutes to deliberately remind yourself of what already know and believe. Recall the times when the Spirit confirmed to you what is true.
Do things that invite the Spirit to testify to you today of what is still true. Open the scriptures. Walk through the temple doors. Get on your knees. Reach out to a faithful friend or leader. Bear your testimony. These are just a few things you can do to fan the flames of the faith you have. Then, by the light of that faith, you can take your questions and your gratitude to the Lord. Then, by the light of your faith, you can discern criticism in a clearer light.
4. Consider the criticizer. Oftentimes, criticism comes from hurt. I have many friends who have walked away from the Church, some quietly and others not so much, like my sweet friend mentioned above. When I see those I love criticize the Church or the gospel, rather than focusing on what they are saying, I choose to focus on them.
Some have left because they were hurt by another member. Others have left because certain doctrines have caused pain. Some don’t feel they belong. Some want to believe but struggle with imperfect leaders, practices, or culture. And others are in a place in their lives where they simply don’t believe. None of these reasons change the truthfulness of the gospel of Jesus Christ or His church. But, many of them are reasons to treat those that criticize with an added measure of love.
When I switch my focus to why they are criticizing truth, it allows me to see past the harsh words to their pain. It allows me to understand them, to pray for them, and to respond to the pain rather than the criticism. It allows me to be a friend to them while holding on to my faith.
This allowed me to see past the critical words of my friend into her heart, which was filled with pain. It helped me understand and respect her and her journey while I stand resolute in my faith.
5. Create spiritual momentum in your life. As the Church grows and the world changes, the stream of criticism will most likely grow stronger. Even among those we love. While it is important to acknowledge that, we don’t need to be afraid. Why? Because we have a prophet to help us know how to keep moving forward in faith.
President Russell M. Nelson has invited us to gain “spiritual momentum.” He suggests we do this through staying on the covenant path, discovering the joy of daily repentance, learning about God and how He works, seeking and expecting miracles, and ending personal conflicts in our lives.
This momentum “can help us withstand the relentless, wicked attacks of the adversary and thwart his efforts to erode our personal spiritual foundation.”
I love the promise our prophet extends to us today: “As you act on these pursuits, I promise you the ability to move forward on the covenant path with increased momentum, despite whatever obstacles you face. And I promise you greater strength to resist temptation, more peace of mind, freedom from fear, and greater unity in your families.”
Press Forward with Love
Yes, criticism will come. And when it does, it won’t always be easy to hear. But, like Nephi, we can say, “Therefore, let us go up; let us be strong” (1 Nephi 4:2). Let us be kind, yet faithful. Let us be understanding, yet resolute. Let us lead with love and avoid contention.
In the words of President Jeffrey R. Holland, “May we press forward with love in our hearts, walking in the ‘brightness of hope’ that lights the path of holy anticipation we have been on now for 200 years. I testify that the future is going to be as miracle-filled and bountifully blessed as the past has been. We have every reason to hope for blessings even greater than those we have already received because this is the work of Almighty God, this is the Church of continuing revelation, this is the gospel of Christ’s unlimited grace and benevolence.”
Other articles recommended for you:
▶ Elder Bednar’s 3 tips for sharing the gospel online
▶ This 1 verse in the Book of Mormon will help you stop comparing your life to others’—and find joy
▶ If God feels distant, this simple shift may help bring back His light
▶ Wondering how to help loved ones see the wonder and majesty of the gospel? Start here
▶ Peace can be a choice. 3 ways to re-center on Christ when worry sets in
