Editor’s note: This article first appeared in the July/August issue of LDS Living magazine. The theme for the issue was Finding Peace in which we explored the incredible reality that when our hearts are in tune with the Savior, personal peace is possible.
My older sister Robin and I were often mistaken as twins. We have three other sisters who look nothing like us (or each other), but Robin and I even had the same laugh, the same voices. We were also the only ones in our family with cystic fibrosis. This genetic disease causes severe damage to the lungs, digestive system, and other organs in the body. You must be so diligent about taking care of your body if you want to live very long, and Robin was my mentor. Whenever I had a symptom, she had a solution.
The thing about people with cystic fibrosis is it seems they are one way or the other: either they have an attitude of “eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we die,” or they fight, and fight hard, to live a meaningful life. There isn’t really a middle ground. Robin taught me how to be one who fights. She showed me that you can live life with peace and a happy attitude because of Jesus Christ and the plan of salvation.
Robin died when she was 35. Even though she is on the other side of the veil now, I still feel her near me, giving me the strength to keep fighting. Cystic fibrosis is a terrible disease. My medical routine is intense, including multiple two-week stays in the hospital every year. I wasn’t able to conceive children. My pain is frequent and often intense. The life expectancy of someone with my disease is about 50 years old.
One night I woke up with really bad pleurisy, which is when your lungs are so inflamed that each breath is extremely painful. I asked my husband for a blessing, and I’ll never forget what was said. I was told that Heavenly Father really loved me, that it was really hard for Him to see me struggle and be in pain, and that He would love more than anything to take it away from me. But He couldn’t do that. This was part of the plan; it was a necessary experience for me to have. That wasn’t the answer I was hoping for. I wanted the pain taken away. But I felt determination reenter my soul. If Heavenly Father is with me and He believes I can do this, then I can. And I can do it well.
I trust that Heavenly Father knows the plan better than I do. I know where I came from, I know where I’m going when I die, and I know that all things can work together for my good. Those beliefs let me live with happiness, purpose, and peace. And on those days or nights when I am really sick, I especially feel Robin pushing me on, as she always has.
Find more stories of faith below
▶ A mother’s ‘unforgettable experience’ after lung transplant shows God knows the small pleadings of our hearts
▶ Can I be both faithful and a little fearful? What the scriptures say
▶ 3 lessons from a storm in scripture to rely on when life takes unexpected turns
Read more in the LDS Living July/August magazine
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