After one of her twin sons was stillborn, Emily Adams was often told that, “Everything happens for a reason.” While these words weren’t helpful in the midst of her grief, as she contemplated the sentiment of this platitude, she found deeper truths that have helped her grow closer to the Savior.
When Platitude Meets Scripture
In Doctrine and Covenants 90:24 we read, “Search diligently, pray always, and be believing, and all things shall work together for your good, if ye walk uprightly.”
While this doesn’t say our pain and suffering happen for a specific reason, the promise is reassuring: God can help us create meaning in our trials and experiences.
Emily shared, “As soon as I started really believing that [my son Aiden’s death] happened for a reason and that I could use [his] story to help other people, it propelled me into this path of authorship and speaking and seeing all these things that I've done in Aiden’s name that have brought good fruits into my life.”
When, like Emily, we seek the Lord’s personal direction for us, we can find renewed purpose. He can help us create meaning and even reason for the unreasonable we experience.
When Platitude Creates Understanding
“Everything happens for a reason” has not only helped Emily to find comfort around her son’s death, but it’s also helped her with smaller challenges in life, such as parenting her spunky youngest child.
“[When I consider that] this child came in the order that she did for a reason, ... the discomfort of parenting a very strong-willed child goes from being this source of contention to a source of wonder [at] what I'm supposed to learn from this,” she says.
To help us find reason and purpose in our experiences, Emily suggests a few questions to ask ourselves:
- What am I supposed to gather?
- How am I supposed to grow?
- What am I supposed to learn from this circumstance?
Asking ourselves these questions can help us go from bitter misunderstanding to curious, prayerful contemplation about our lives, bringing us closer to the direction our Heavenly Father knows can help us.
“I’m going to be your first advocate that when you are hurting, allow yourself to hurt and don’t force the hurt away,” Emily explains. “But when you're ready, [Jesus Christ] is there, and He's always been there.”
To hear more, listen to the full episode of the Magnify podcast.
This book is a tapestry of vast human experience, covering a wide array of challenges including infertility, loss, abuse, mental and physical health issues, suicide, financial stress, divorce, addiction, and more. And yet, despite the myriad of trials and accompanying grief, these women exemplify testimonies of faith, resilience, and love.
For more ways to rethink an idea or phrase to find more spiritual growth, try these articles:
▶ President Holland shares how to heal from broken dreams
▶ What is a successful home? A surprisingly beautiful answer
▶ 3 ways we may misunderstand 'Moroni's promise' (and how the truth helps build testimony)
