According to the international bestseller The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary Chapman, most people show and receive love in one or more of the following ways: quality time, words of affirmation, physical touch, gift-giving, and acts of service. The book asserts that people feel cared about most when they are shown love in the manner—or “language”—that they best understand.
Jesus Christ ministered to many people throughout his mortal life, and each person had her or his own “love language.” Because the Savior was a master at ministering to each person individually, we shouldn’t be surprised to see examples where the Savior showed love for individuals in ways that match each of the five love languages. Here are just a few scriptural examples of Jesus interacting with others using the five languages.
1. Quality Time
- There are very few examples in the New Testament of the Savior spending time alone—two standout examples are being tempted by the devil and being alone in the garden of Gethsemane. The vast majority of His ministry was spent with others, either teaching or performing miracles.
- When Mary and Martha were mourning the death of their brother Lazarus, “Jesus wept”—spending time with his friends during their greatest hour of need.
- Jesus ate and spent time with sinners as a sign of His love and compassion for them.
- When the Nephites looked tearfully on as Christ prepared to leave them, He “tarried a little longer with them.”
2. Words of Affirmation
- In the Old Testament, Jehovah told Israel, “For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.”
- Jesus Christ told His disciples, “Peace, be still” as they were rocked into a panic during a ferocious storm.
- Just before He went to atone for the sins of the world in Gethsemane, Christ told his Apostles, “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”
- In Doctrine and Covenants 84, the Savior told the Prophet Joseph Smith, “And whoso receiveth you, there I will be also, for I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up.
3. Acts of Service
- The Savior told His disciples in Matthew 20 that He came to the world not to be served, but to serve others.
- The scriptures are full of stories of Christ using the power of God to heal others, even when it was considered inconvenient, dangerous, or blasphemous.
- Just before His earthly life was finished, the Savior washed His Apostles’ feet as a final act of service.
- Jesus Christ’s Atonement suffered in Gethsemane was the greatest act of love and service ever given.
4. Physical Touch
- Jesus Christ touched the hand of Peter’s mother-in-law and healed her fever.
- The woman with an issue of blood touched Jesus’s garment and was made whole.
- As Christ blessed the little children of Judea in Mark 10, He “took them up in his arms [and] put his hands upon them.”
- In 3 Nephi when the Savior appeared to His disciples after His resurrection, He said, “Arise and come forth unto me, that ye may thrust your hands into my side, and also that ye may feel the prints of the nails in my hands and in my feet, that ye may know that I am the God of Israel.”
5. Gift-Giving
- In His very first miracle, Jesus gave the wedding party at Cana wine to drink.
- In Matthew 14, Christ gave thousands of eager listeners bread and fish to eat when they came to hear Him preach.
- President Nelson’s 2018 Christmas devotional message outlined four gifts Jesus Christ offers us: the capacity to love, the ability to forgive, repentance, and the promise of everlasting life.
- Perhaps the greatest gift of all, the Savior gave his life by submitting himself to die on the cross at Calvary so that we too could overcome death and return to live with Him and our Heavenly Father again.
As you seek to follow the Savior’s example, you might consider how your loved ones, ward members, and those to whom you minister best receive expressions of love. Then use these or other “languages” to share the Savior’s care with those around you.