The following transcript is intended to aid in your study. However, while we try to go through the transcript, our transcripts are primarily computer-generated and often contain errors. Please forgive the transcripts' imperfections.
Morgan Jones Pearson 0:00
If you listen to last week's episode of All In, you know that we're back and I couldn't be happier to be sharing new interviews with you. I'm super excited because for the next couple of weeks we're going to be featuring some incredibly talented musicians. And out first is Emma Nissen. You know, when you hear someone with just an undeniable talent, that is how you'll feel when you hear the first notes come out of immunisations mouth. The girl has a God given gift and coming from a musical family she's been singing for a long time. But it wasn't until she was a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints that she wrote her first songs song she says she can't even take credit for. And then Nissen is a Swedish American songwriter with a rich deep voice and the musical messages to match since writing her first song as a missionary she has written over 30 secular songs and several Christian songs with many more in the making. In this first few singles off her EP are streaming now and her album will be released early next year.
This is all Len and LDS Living podcast where we ask the question what does it really mean to be all in the gospel of Jesus Christ? I am Morgan Pearson. And I am so honored to have Emma Nissen on the line with me today. Emma, welcome.
Emma Nissen 1:27
Thank you so much. It is such an honor. Seriously, my mom has been listening to the podcast. She's the one that introduced it to me a while back, she would go on walks and she listened to it. And then she'd send me podcast episodes all the time. And so when I told her that I had been invited, she nearly dropped dead. So
Morgan Jones Pearson 1:44
well, I have stopped your Instagram casually. And I am also obsessed with your mom. So it's like a mutual admiration. And oh, I just hope that someday you'll you'll connect me with her so that we can be friends.
Emma Nissen 2:00
She is quaking from your sees. She doesn't even know that you've said that. But in Arizona, I can feel her heart is just just so yes, the answer out of here.
Morgan Jones Pearson 2:13
I love that. Okay, so actually though, I want to start with your family that you grew up in. Music has always been a big part of your family and your dad has done some things that people listening to this will likely be very familiar with. So tell me a little bit about your dad and music and how music influenced your family culture growing up.
Emma Nissen 2:37
Yeah, so my dad, I get to brag about him because he's so humble. And so us kids we love we our biggest Flex is that our dad wrote Swan princess and that he also did quite a few of the living Scripture, the animated short films,
Morgan Jones Pearson 2:55
which I could quote many of them, tell us a little
Emma Nissen 2:57
what's your what's the top quote that comes to mind?
Morgan Jones Pearson 3:01
This is gonna this is gonna sound so bad. The one where it's like Nephi said Nephi says
Emma Nissen 3:06
Nephi said, Oh, absolutely. No, all of them there. They just circulated my my life, my childhood. So he wrote the scripts for those and my dad, he's so his him and his brothers. They're all very theatrical. And my dad was just such an amazing voice, which he also will not come right out and say, but he is he's got such an amazing voice. And so the singing came from my dad's side, and performance in general. And then from my mom's side, we got piano and accordion and just, I think love for classical music. And so my brothers, I have four older brothers, they all play piano so well. And I just grew up early morning practices, not me, my brothers. I wasn't as dedicated to the piano routine as, as some of them. It was always filled with classical music. And I was the worst because I would sing as my brother was practicing because he practiced so much, which has served him very well. But I knew the songs by heart. Like I could sing you Rhapsody in Blue. That's a 16 minute song. And like, he's practiced it so much that like, it's my favorite, but like I knew it, and I Yeah, and that would really irked him because he'd be like, Oh, stop on practicing. And I'd be like, was just so catchy too. Anyway, but all that to say, music was a constant. And it was a way that we all felt love. From and for each other. I think it was a big thing that brought us together. And even now, when we're all in different states and kind of all over Christmas, the best part of it is that we come in we're like everyone knows old and this is our home because we like to leave the door open and just sing loud for the neighborhood. and it's just fun. Because every time we get together, that's the first thing we like to do.
Morgan Jones Pearson 5:04
What's so fun, Emma knows my brothers who also like they have always filled our home with music. And the rest of us like sing a little bit, but my brothers sing a lot. And so I can relate to that. One of your brothers studied music. And you say that he taught you everything that you know, what did that look like? Because he's quite a bit older than you.
Emma Nissen 5:28
Yeah, he's, so Simon, he's 10 years older than me. He's the second oldest brother. So when I was eight years old, he was 18. And he had started college, he was studying choral education, which he now has a bachelor's in choral education and a master's in conducting. So he like he just loves it. And he's so good at what he does. And all my brothers are everyone around me, they're just so good at what they do. But he when I don't know that I really I was kind of a shy kid, believe it or not, when it came to singing, there wasn't something I was comfortable with. But he really I think he saw that I could sing. And so he really wanted to draw that out of me. So I just, I have a lot of core memories of just me standing at the corner of the piano. And him teaching me how to read chords, what sounded good with what chord, what didn't sound good, and how to make it sound okay, from there, which I think instantly translated into a lot of what I do in life is like, when things don't sound good, or don't come out, right? How do I merge that into something that does work, you know, either in awkward situations or in life plans, you know, it's just like, when things are uncomfortable, how do I make them? How do I, you know, make myself comfortable and make everyone else comfortable.
Morgan Jones Pearson 6:45
I'm gonna link for people so that they can see, Emma sent me these videos of her and her brother and there it is, like the cutest thing I've ever seen. Because and I think it's because he's so much older than you are. And he's like, spending that time with you. And I think that that is really speaks it speaks to him and and his character. A lot of people listening, I mentioned your mom earlier. And if anybody looks up Emma's social media, they also will immediately be obsessed with your mom. Like it just will happen, whether people want to or not. So
Emma Nissen 7:26
she when her joy is infectious, you know,
Morgan Jones Pearson 7:29
if she's darling. So people will look at that. And I think that they'll wonder after they've watched the videos of you and Simon, and then they watch the videos of you and your mom, and they hear you talk about your dad, they'll wonder what has fostered such a close knit family. And I wonder what you would say about that.
Emma Nissen 7:48
My parents have always been a safe place for me. And it's because they love so much. They what I find remarkable about my parents is that through a lot of their lives, their careers and just their extracurriculars, and just through their family life. They themselves are exquisite people, but they spend so much of their time highlighting what's amazing about other people, my dad's a storyteller, he makes videos, and my mom does photography on the side. And they just, they capture the best light of people. And they always bring that back home. And so that's always been why I know that whatever turmoil I'm going through, they're sifting through that, and they have so much love. Because they're, they see me in the best light, because that's just who they are. They just they radiate goodness themselves, and which I think has bled into just how me and my siblings, we all just, we care for each other so much. And it's really just the foundation that they and we laugh a lot, I would say, we have a good sense of humor floating around the house that like we don't take ourselves too seriously. And I think that's also like people that like to laugh are my kind of people I can hang with the sad people or the more serious people, but I definitely gravitate towards the people that don't take themselves too seriously because
Morgan Jones Pearson 9:22
it wouldn't be your preference. All right, well, yeah. People.
Emma Nissen 9:26
My the vibes are they just kind of are like, when I meet someone that's like, Okay, I'm like, wait, what? Why are we laughing? For no reason right now? Because I don't know. My parents just really enjoy finding joy. And they've passed that on to all of us. And I just I would say that we're pretty joyful bunch. We've had our moments but they're just awesome. I can't say enough good things about him. I love them.
Morgan Jones Pearson 9:52
It's awesome. Okay, Emma, you have such a great story, and I want to make sure that we get into it. You received a prompting about serving a mission. And I want you to tell people about what that prompting was. But I want to highlight before you ever say what it was, the one thing that stood out to me is that it sounds to me at least like the Spirit spoke to you in a voice that you would recognize, which I think, is profound. I think the spirit tends to speak to us in a voice that will be recognizable to us in a tone, using words that we will recognize. And so tell us a little bit about that prompting and why you think maybe the Spirit speaks to us in a way that we will uniquely understand.
Emma Nissen 10:40
It's, it's quite a funny and wonderful story. In retrospect, when I look, when I look back, I I like to think that the spirit and I can banter that we can, you know, talk back and forth. And I think part of that is me, being able to, it helps sometimes, to feel like I have a more personal relationship with God, to be able to feel like I can talk in the way that I talk. So sometimes in my storytelling, you'll see you're like, Wow, gosh, she's kind of mean to the Spirit. But it's really just some banter, because I've, I've learned that well, I'll just tell the story. Yeah. The story. So I was, I had just started my freshman year at Northern Arizona University, I, which was the same college that my brother went to Simon. And I had, I was there on scholarship for vocal performance. So I had been there for nine weeks. And at the hospital, there EMT students learning how to scope throats. And they typically ask the vocal students if they want to be those mock patients for them, so that they can get their throat checked out or whatever, you know. And so my vocal coach, she asked me, she was like, Do you want to go into that? I said, Yeah, that would be interesting. Because my voice I've always, not now, but I always had a raspy voice. And they said that I had notes. And so I was like, Sure, let's go check them out. At the same time, our church had just had its big biannual conference, and I was kind of half listening, just sitting there. And all sudden, I have this very distinct thought of, you're gonna go on a mission, like now now. Now, the next chapter is you're gonna go on mission. And in my mind, I was like, Okay, first of all, I didn't even ask, like, I did not even pray about that. Like, but probably not, because I just started my freshman year of college. And I was like, I was like, none other than, okay, I just started college. How about if there's like, a good window of opportunity for me to go like a perfect window, I'll go, like 100%. But I'm gonna lose tons of time, friends and money. Like, I just was like, Oh, I can't wrap my brain around that right now, spirit, please help me. So that later that week, I'm in the hospital with these anti students. And they've got this hose of my nose, and then they're going and looking at the back of my throat. And it gets really quiet in the room. And they're all kind of looking at each other. And I was like, I'm like, can you take the hose out of my nose and tell me what we're saying? Like, you guys are whispering a lot. Like, tell me what's going on, pull the hose out there, like, you have hemorrhaged your right vocal cord, and you have a cyst on your left vocal cord, you probably need to drop out of college. And I was like, immediately, I will admit, I was like, Oh, that's terrible. But just as immediately, I was so filled, like, flooded with the Spirit, that it was a confirmation like, Alright, here's your window. And I was like, I don't know what's going to happen. But I know that this is important. I know that this is part of a plan that God has that is going to be better than what I have in mind for myself right now. And so I just thought, hey, I don't know when I'm gonna sing again. I don't know what I'm going to do with music. I don't know if I'm ever gonna go back to college. But I just I gotta have faith, because that's the only thing that I have that will propel me forward. And so I went on a mission, and I prepared the who I go to surgery to remove the cyst, and I let the hemorrhage heal. And then I went, and I was called to Sweden, which is amazing, because that's where my mom was born. And my more more and more far, which is my grandma and my grandpa. They they moved with my mom and her two brothers in the 60s, and we just I love my heritage. I love Sweden, and I was so grateful for the chance to go back. But as we know, I Well, maybe we don't know. I started my mission, December of 2019. And so three months around the corner, the pandemic began.
Morgan Jones Pearson 14:58
Tough to be a missionary.
Emma Nissen 15:00
Yeah, but I will say, I loved my mission because, well, because of what came of it. Well, I actually, I want to go, I want to tell the story with with the piano. And
Morgan Jones Pearson 15:14
you, I was just gonna say, Listen, everyone listening should know that Emma truly has like the most incredible voice. And I was gonna say, if you want to sing however much you want to sing, I will listen, I'm here for it.
Emma Nissen 15:29
So kind. Okay, well, so they had just announced the pandemic was going to be bigger than what we thought, and it was probably going to last longer than we thought. I mean, this is beginning middle of March. And I'm sitting there, my companion that just been sent home, because she was coming to the end of her mission anyway, and they just didn't know about the borders, closing, so they send it home. So I had an interim companion. And we're sitting there at the church, the next day, I was gonna get sent up to northern Sweden, where I would be for seven months. And I loved it, because that's where I wrote most of my music. And I just hung out with like old people, and ate cheese. So that was the dream. But so I'm sitting there. And I'm just thinking, once again, we just got to have faith. And I'm like, we gotta have faith. Faith, and I'm like, oh, that that could be a song. Now, prior to this, I had never written a song. I had I, you know, my family's very musical, we've established that, but I hmm, writing not for me, I tried it maybe once or twice. There it was, it was gross. Like, it just was not a talent that I possessed. And I was totally okay with that. I just prefer to sing other people's music, because I just recognized Oh, I didn't have anything good to write, or anything like, of substance. So this was very, not congruent with what I had ever done before or me anything. I don't think too much of it. But I'm sitting there on my gotta say
tomorrow, and. And I'm like, Oh my gosh. So I write this whole song. I don't think much of it. I posted on Facebook. And at the time, it was like my mom, and probably another fan accomplice she'd created was following me on Facebook. And I posted on there. And then I move up to Lulu. And a couple of weeks later, the prophet had put out a video. And the main theme of that was like, hashtag hear him. And I had another moment. I thought it was a one and done that last song. But then I had another moment where I was like, oh, hear him. That's such a good sentiment, I wish that there was a song that talked about that. And then 30 minutes later, I have sat down and I'm gonna oh, and it was like in the movie, if you've seen the best two years, when they're praying, and they're praying for something like someone to call them and in the middle of the prayer, the phone rings, and they look up to the heavens, like that was how it felt. Every single time I wrote a song, I always kind of like the office, like I looked into a fake camera, just imagining that Jesus was there just like, or God or whoever, these angels sitting there just being like, I know, God is good, huh. And I would just sit there being like, Okay, this is what I'm supposed to do this, these two things that were kind of big monumental shifts in my life, my vocal surgery and not knowing when I would really sing again, and have being a missionary. I was like, how am I supposed to do these two things. And then they were able to come together in one single act. And through music, I was able to sing, and I was able to share what I believe and share the love that I felt through music. And then it just went from there. Every couple of weeks, I would get a prompting, or I would have a feeling or I'd be talking to somebody where I would just think I'd be such a good song. And then it was like the spirit, nudging me in the ribs like, ah, like thinking, go walk over to the piano. And I knew that the songs were inspired of God because there's no way that I all of a sudden had a talent to write music overnight. I recognized that very fully that there was no way that this was me, or only me. And so and also because the songs like I would write them in less than an hour like I write them and record them and then just post them. And it was just it was fun for me because I felt like it was a genuine way for me to to share the gospel. But it also allowed people To interpret it in the way that spoke to them. And I think part of the original question was, like, why is it important that the Spirit speaks to people specific to them? Was that part of your original question? Yeah, totally.
Morgan Jones Pearson 20:16
No, no, I'm loving Emma, I am loving this. I'm like, I am just getting my own personal conine or
Emma Nissen 20:23
and, well, yes, anytime you want, that you just call me. But I, I think one. God created us so uniquely, and differently. He knows that. There is no one way to hear the spirit. That's why we have so many different facets, we have ears, we have eyes, we have a mouth, we have you know, there's so many different ways to experience life, music, food, light, everything, love. And it's just, of course, why wouldn't we? Why wouldn't we receive the Spirit and His promptings and God's love in different ways, unique to us. And I think that itself is a testament that God loves us because he's saying, Hey, here's something personal for you. Like, here's a little sign or anything to show you, I got you, I'm listening to you. And, and this is tailor made for you. And I think it's essential to people's testimonies into their Faith Journeys, is to feel like God knows them personally. So I would say, Do you remember the original question?
Morgan Jones Pearson 21:38
No, no, that was perfect. And you know, it's interesting. So when I was a missionary, we had dinner with a patriarch and his wife and the wife was telling us the story about how her husband had given a patriarchal blessing. And in the blessing, he used the word churchy. And afterward, he said to his wife, like, I have never used that word in my life. Like that was so weird. And I and he's like, I would never use that word. And later, the girl that was receiving the Patriarchal Blessing, her mom came to him and said, like, I just wanted to thank you. You used a word that my daughter uses a lot. And that was that word churchy. You know, and so anyway, it's just so interesting, like the way that the Spirit does speak to us in the language that we understand. And I personally have experienced that and super grateful for it. I'm curious. So I remember and miss seeing a video of you singing when you were a missionary. And so your music made it from Sweden, where you were serving all the way to the US, and people were hearing and watching and it called on and so how were you able to see kind of the Lord working through through this music and touching people 1000s of miles away.
Emma Nissen 23:08
I, I do think that was one of the the most amazing parts of all of this was that a lot of times we don't get to see the good that comes from us, trying to follow up prompting or whatever, you know, sometimes we don't see the result of our actions. But the missionaries during COVID, they were so sweet. And I'm not saying they are hurt before or after. But during my time, I've got so many messages that were heartfelt that were everywhere from Brazil, South Korea, Iceland, Denmark, being Chile, the states, Alaska, I just Alaska being a state I like the States and Alaska. But I I got all these heartfelt messages from people that were like, Hey, this is where I was when I found your music. And this is what it has done for me. And I I was never like, oh my gosh, look how amazing I am. Yes, you bet. You benefited from me. No, I always was just very much like, oh, I rejoice with you that the Lord would use me just this person in Sweden to answer all of these prayers, yet. They were specific to everyone. You know, like it was one song, but he knew what he was doing because he knew that there were children out there that needed an answer to their prayers.
Morgan Jones Pearson 24:41
So I feel like one thing as a missionary is you're always trying to like do what is asked of you. You're trying to be obedient and you have mission leaders. Being able to share this music kind of would require your mission leaders buy in. So I'm curious how did you Your mission leaders encourage you to use your talent.
Emma Nissen 25:05
So I was lucky enough to have three different mission presidents. Because of the pandemic, we had an interim couple, before the last mission president that I had was able to get to screen. Every single one of them was so supportive, and they were supportive, not just to me, but just as missionaries, as individuals. I was really, really grateful for that. And, in particular, I love I loved all of my mission presidents and their wives. But I love my last mission president and his wife, they just fostered creativity. And they just brought so much joy and inspiration, through everything that they did everywhere that they went. And they allowed their missionaries to really hone in on their skills. And like, it felt like they were actively thinking all the time, like, what's something that this person is grayed out that they that they could do? What's What's something that this person loves to do that, that they can really shine. And it goes back to like, with my parents, they're constantly thinking, What's one way that this person can just shine really is the best word for it. And so I really appreciated that they really they, my mission, President, President Davis and his wife, Sister Davis, they really looked for opportunities for me to create and to share and to perform. There was one instance in particular that's very, very near and dear to my heart. And I know as well to his for different reasons. But they both have to do just with the, the other side of the veil, or with heaven, and the angels that surround us, about seven months into my mission. My mission president, he called me, and he said, as soon as I think that we need to write, he's like, I think we need a mission song. And I had been writing music for a couple of months at that point. And he's like, I would really love it if you would consider writing a song for the mission. But I'd love for you to write in Swedish. So that was the cat. Because I had been on my mission for seven months. And so obviously, I was not fluent. It's hard enough to write a song sometimes. And to think of doing it in another language, I, once again was just like, I have faith that this is what the Lord wants me to do. I felt very kind of I felt excited about it. Because I thought, okay, yeah, sure, this is something, this is something challenging that I would love to try my hand. And he said, he wanted to be spiritual, something like an anthem for all of us to sing together. When we got together for conferences, or just, you know, when we welcome new missionary, something that we each have, that's ours. And so he said, you have three months, it's October, you have until December. And I was like, Okay, three months, here we go. And so I said, okay, and I, I just kind of, I didn't really have a plan at that moment, but I got off the phone with him. And immediately I had this familiar wave of, and you should write a song about it, kind of what the Spirit had been telling me all these past months, like when it was time to write a song, like it was just that familiar sensation. And I looked over to my sweet companion, and she just knew the look in my eye. She was like, you're gonna write that right now, aren't you? I was like, I don't know. But we gotta go to the church. And so because that was the closest building that had a piano. And so she was so sweet. We walked all the way in the snow to the church. And I sat down, and I opened up my scriptures, to the mission, scripture that we had, which was that it was in Third Nephi, talking about how we're disciples of, of God's Son, Jesus Christ. And we always said that when we were all together, and we also had a phrase Shemp Ippolito, which meant fight on faith. So those are my two starting points. I thought, Okay, I'm gonna, I'm going to include those two things. That's gonna be my base point. And I'm sure I'll figure something else out there. My plan to be to be completely honest, was I was gonna just write it in English and then just hope for the best with Google Translate was my, my honest plan. And I sat there and I opened my scriptures in English and immediately I get this impression. What are you doing? Why are you opening your scriptures in English? And I'm like, because I don't speak Swedish. Thank you. And the spirits like, I know. Why are you opening them in English? I'm like, Okay, I don't know, if you're aware, it's been seven months, I'm trying and Swedish, this is gonna be a long time if I'm gonna have to wait the whole three months to learn Swedish more effectively. And the Spirit is like, okay, stop, stop, I am painfully aware that you do not speak Swedish. I've been the one helping you all these months. And yet I have the solution, it became suddenly clear that okay, now I have to go back because I forgot a part. I mentioned my more far key. My mormor and my morfar, mormor is grandma morfar is grandpa. My morfar, they, my parents were both converts. And my mom Mom was baptized in the early 2000s. But my morpher was never baptized, but he would take my murmur to church, if you play the organ, you played the accordion a lot. And so the Oregon's just basically a bigger version. So he would go to your church, and you play the organ. And then as soon as sacrament started going way out in the car, and then you take her home, and, and but he so he wasn't baptized in this lifetime. But we, we were able to baptize him later. And and he passed away in 2015. So he never really had the chance to express any sort of spiritual message with us. You know, that just wasn't something he talks about. And Swedes as a whole they are. They're not very, I mean, of course, not everyone, but living in a country you recognize like, Sweden, statistically speaking is an atheist, agnostic country. There are a lot of religious people there. But typically, people are spiritual rather than religious, that they they feel the Spirit and they connect with nature. And I really I resonated with that. So but that's how my morpher was. We didn't really like talk about God with him. But so flash forward, I'm sitting there in this church, and I open up my scriptures say English and the spirits like, what are you doing? And I'm like, Well, I'm not gonna open them in in Swedish, because I don't know Swedish. And the Spirit very clearly is like, No, I know you don't know Swedish. But I have someone here who speaks perfect Swedish. And it became apparent that I wasn't going to be writing this song. But my more far was, and suddenly, it was like, every single word that I knew, and Swedish rind, and everything fell into place. And I'm just having this like, super emotional experience, sitting there. And I'm writing this song. And the words that come out in translated to English, our God is here in Sweden, he walks beside his missionaries. Yes, we are Jesus Christ, God's Son, disciple, because God has heard Sweden, if it snows, if, if it rains, it doesn't matter. We fight, we fight, we fight on faith, we spread the gospel to all of his children to help them understand that they have worth around our battalion, there are angels there to help them to support Sweden's missionaries. We fight we fight we fight on in faith, to be someone's Angel, and to give them their courage. God is here in Sweden, he walks beside as missionaries. Yes, we are Jesus Christ, God's sons, disciples, because God is here in Sweden. So I write this in Swedish. And I'm playing it on the piano, as I start putting melody to it. And I'm playing it. And the melody just seems to just write itself. And as I'm playing, I have to stop and I look to my companion. And she looks over at me and I say, do you hear that? And she's like, No. And I was like, okay, that's weird. So I keep playing. And I have to stop again. And I look over, I'm like, Okay, do you hear that? She's like, What am I supposed to be hearing? And I tell her, I say, I swear, I can hear the accordion. Somewhere close by, if it's outside, or if it's behind me, and I do I turn around, because I thought someone was there. And I knew he wasn't gonna be there when I turned around. But I knew he was there. You know, and I could just picture him up in heaven. Just claim his accordion, finally, being able to say these words that angels are with us. And they they're carrying us, and they're giving us courage, and I believe so much in angels. And it's just such a wonderful song. Because I have no doubt in my mind that that was him. Because I sent it first of all, because I send it to some an actual Swede that had their name if time was Swedish, and I said, Hey, can you check this for grammar and spelling? They sent it back no mistakes, like there is no way. Wrong How? They said no, no mistakes. And when we had somebody in the mission, they notated it into sheet music. And they said, Okay, what do you want me to put on the top like for name? Like who wrote it and like, you want me to put a scripture up there, whatever. I said, Nope, just put by Anders blink, which is my more first name. So now all of these missionaries, they get this piece of music that talks about how God is here in Sweden, and he's walking beside his missionaries written by morefor. And it's just the most sweet thing that I could have asked for. And I called my mission president. And I sent it to him, and he lives he called me right back after I sent it to him. And he, we just cried to each other, because it was just so it, it just I don't know, the song is just a very spiritual melody. And I'm just fair, I'm gonna be forever grateful that he extended the invitation to me, and that he allowed me to do what I do. And that we were able to have that because of just because of how amazing of a mission president he was.
Morgan Jones Pearson 36:28
Can we? Can you sing a little bit of that song?
Emma Nissen 36:32
Yeah. Can we? Should we do it at the end? So I don't have to like keep going up and down? Yeah,
Morgan Jones Pearson 36:37
yeah, just do it at the end. That's perfect. Okay, I love that. I love it. Because it also reminds me of our mutual friend, Rob Gardner, like Rob found his gift, I feel like because his mission president asked him to write on his mission. And I just think it's inspiring to see that the Lord uses people's unique talents to share their witness of Christ. And that in the interest of time, since coming home from your mission, I think like many missionaries that are in their returned missionaries in their early 20s, you come home and your faith kind of evolves, and it changes. And I think there's a lot of talk these days about faith crises are faith deconstruction, you said that you prefer the term faith reconstruction. And I'd love to hear why that is. And kind of just your advice to other young people who might find themselves in a similar situation, or what you would say to a friend who is going through the same things you're going through?
Emma Nissen 37:47
Yeah. When I have what I recognize about myself now, I have always been, and I presume, always will be an ebb and flow type of person. And sometimes that's very frustrating for me, and I get disappointed in myself, because I think, why can't I just believe so strongly and just be a pillar and just be have the strongest testimony forever and ever and ever. But as we know, even those people with the strongest testimonies, they aren't even like that. But for me, when I was 15, I think that was the biggest probably, and first blow that I had to my testimony. I had a question or, like something that I was I just was angry about with God. And I had decided that the best conclusion was to just become atheist. And part of that was me just being being 15. Not to discredit any 15 year olds that are listening that feel like they want to become atheist. I mean, we all are valid in our own in our agency and our emotions. But for me, that wasn't the real answer, as I recognize now of how to handle that, and throw my life through music, actually, I was able to allow the Spirit to enter back into my life and my heart. And that's and so and then it went down again, after, after a couple of airfields like every three years, something happens. And so I just kind of anticipate that. But I used to call it a faith crisis. And I think a lot of us do. It's in our vernacular to call these things faith crises. And that, to me, sounds so scary, because it feels like a spiral. It's a crisis, you are in need of help, you need a lifeline. And in some cases, that's true. But a lot of times, it doesn't have to be this huge spiral. So I coming home from my mission, I just felt like, well, it's kind of tough to go from 24/7 that being your purpose, and then kind of adjusting back into normal life of not having the same routine and I When I was going back to church in in the States, I just felt like everything that everyone was saying was the same thing as the next person. And the last person, everyone, everyone's testimony just sounded the same to me. And I was getting frustrated, because I was like, am I feeling the spirit? Or am I just hearing these warm and fuzzy words that people have been saying for years. And so I decided, I was like, You know what, I'm just gonna go to a place that I can't understand the language. And see if despite that language barrier, I can feel the spirit. So I chose to go to the sign language, congregation. And that has changed my life in a number of ways. But that's another story. But being there, I kind of realized I was able to hide from my I was so caught up in learning the language and in an in, you know, meeting and serving all the new people that I was around, that I didn't really address my own beliefs, or where I stood coming back from this huge spiritual high, that was a mission, right. And I had a friend from Germany come to the States on vacation, and she and I were talking about this and she goes, Oh, I read this article that she shared with me, that was talking about faith, deconstruction. And you know, why, when some thing parts of our face, the age better than others, and it's funny, I read this article, recently, I reread it and I go, Oh, that is not what I got from this article at all. It is very blatantly stating something else. This article is talking about this, but I totally like morphed into what was it served me at the time and serves me still. But I read it. And I was like, it's not. And that happens sometimes where we read something and like, it speaks to our soul. And then you read it back. And you're like, that's not at all what it said, I that's interesting. But so in this article is talking about faith deconstruction, and how sometimes we have to tear it apart. But I like to call it as you mentioned, Faith reconstruction, I think it's important to rebuild. And just as any, anyone knows that building, anything climbing higher in any aspect takes time. And it takes patience. And so she in this article, she likens it to a house, faith is like a house. And each room is or load bearing beam is something that supports your testimony. And sometimes these houses they get, there's turbulence, maybe a beam falls, something gets challenged. And instead of walking away from the entire house, and just starting from scratch, they just talks about the importance, well, at least what I got from it is the importance of giving yourself time that maybe you just don't use that room for a while, and then say that, like, a certain aspect of your testimony is a certain room in your house, and then it gets challenged. And so you think, okay, instead of just leaving the entire house, I'm just not going to use that room for a second. Because sometimes that has to be okay. And that doesn't mean that you're going to just close the door forever. It means that when you're ready, you're going to re approach that re approach that room, and you get to repurpose it with your new understanding. So that it serves you, and that you can make sense of your whole house. And I just liked it. Because when I have questions, which I inevitably will have, there is no such thing as a faith crisis for me anymore. It's just Oh, I might have to reconstruct my beliefs on that, I might have to learn a little bit more. And more often than not, it is because I don't understand fully and I need to take time to understand as much as I can about that. And so I'm just not quick to make any sort of decision of okay, I'm gonna leave, I'm going to not do that anymore. I'm not going to participate in that and never, you know, I just say Never say never, you know, just leave it for a little bit and then come back and remodel, remodel, how it makes sense. Do that is unique to you. Because as we know, God respects us enough. He's given us our agency to choose, and we have to choose and understand in a way that is unique to us, you know, and I think he respects that,
Morgan Jones Pearson 44:35
for sure. And I am curious to get your thoughts. I was just listening to an interview with Emily Bell Freeman on the church news podcast and she talks about how and I was actually there when her daughter Grace was asked this question, somebody asked her like, what do you wish that your parents generation understood about your gender? ration and Grace Emily's daughter, her answer was, I wish that you just trust us. And so I am curious for you, as parents are watching, and I think there are a lot of parent age people that listen to this podcast, as, as they're watching people may be your age, who are kind of, you know, working through questions that they have or whatever? What would what would you say to them? Like, similar to that question like, What do you wish that they knew?
Emma Nissen 45:38
I think to parents, and just people like going through it or watching someone go through it one, the number one thing is patience with yourself. And moreover, love, the thing that I would say to that is, there's a very fine line, it's kind of a gray area of being worried about someone salvation, and being worried about that person themselves. Because, for me, I have never been like, Oh, you're worried about my salvation? I want to do all of the things that you're saying. It just feels like they're meddling that like they want control. Maybe I don't know if that's the right thing to say. But I, I don't think when I think about this, the relationship that I have created with God, I just, I don't feel like God is sitting up in heaven, biting his nails, worrying about the salvation of all of his children, because of the choices that they're making. He's like, Oh, no, I gave them their agency, and they're doing the wrong thing. I'm worried i And that's not to make light of, you know, God's relationship with us, or just how we are how he, you know, may think of us, but I don't think that he's sitting up there worried, I think that he is loving us. I mean, that is, in every single story that we tell about Christ and His teachings and about God is that He loves us, and what gave us our agency so that we could choose, and to, despite our choices, he will never come in and yank us back to what is the right path, whatever that may be. Because, as we've discussed, everything is unique to some people. I mean, life is so long and eternity is even longer, there are so many things that we need to figure out. And sometimes it's just gets so chaotic. And when you think about it, like God's not being like, come on, like figure it out. He's just has so much love. And every instance that I have ever had where I've had questions. The moment where I feel like my heart has softened, is when I have just felt like I've been maxed out by the amount of love that I can comprehend, from Heavenly Father. And so I think my advice would be, is just you don't have to understand exactly what she said, just trust, you don't have to understand everything that your friend or whoever is going through, because a lot of times they don't even understand it. But what you do know is that you can love them as a human being as your friend as your family. And no matter what happens, your love is still there. And I just think that love, I'm very, I guess I'm a very hippie in that. I'm very hippie in that way that I just I very much believes in loving everybody and and allowing them to evolve. And love is the catalyst to a healthy evolution. Because it's not going to press us into making any sort of choice that we wouldn't make ourselves. I think love allows for the best kind of growth. So I would say, love, love, love and trust that it is going to
Morgan Jones Pearson 49:06
work out. Yeah, well, and I love that idea of God is not worried. I think that that is so true. I often think that like even for me in my own life, like when it felt like things were not working out the way that I wanted them to. I would always think like God's not worried. Like, you may be worried about yourself. God's not worried about you. Yeah. So I love that. Emma, I am so grateful to you for sharing your witness and your experiences and the way that the spirit has guided your life in one of your songs. The one that you said you wrote based on President Nelson's word you directly quote, President Nelson who said, Hear him strive with all your heart and my mind and soul. When you look back on the story that you've just told us, how would you say that you can see that the spirit has guided your life personally.
Emma Nissen 50:06
I think when I am diligent and inviting the spirit into my life, then it influences everything that I do. Everything good, can then be attributed to God. And I and I recognize that as the Spirit guiding my life. But the key part of the phrase is, as you mentioned, strive with all your heart and your mind and your mind, and your soul and your strength. We cannot be guided, or even recognize the Spirit, if we ourselves, do not even try to open our own eyes. And I think, the next part of that song being hear him. And you'll know, if you strive, and you try, and you have even just the desire to be guided in a loving way, which is how the Spirit works, then you will hear him and you'll know. And I have seen that just through all of the experiences that I've had with music, all of the amazing people that I've been able to rub shoulders with and to meet and to speak with, it's like, Oh, these are all the angels that I have. This is my battalion of angels around me, these are all the good people that the spirit has allowed me to meet. And I just, it makes me very happy to be alive. Happy to experience this, despite any difficulties or ebbs or flows that I may have. It just is very like, oh, despite where I'm at the spirit will always be there, I just have to be the one to strike with my heart.
Morgan Jones Pearson 51:48
Perfect. Okay, my last question for you. And that is, what does it mean to you to be all in the gospel of Jesus Christ.
Emma Nissen 51:58
I know a lot of people have answered this and started by saying, I've been thinking about this long time because I knew it was coming. And honestly, the first time that when Bart reached out and asked me if I'd be willing, in that moment in my life, I thought me talk about what it means to be all in, because I was feeling the weight of my own ebbs and flows. And I thought, gosh, well, boy, what does that mean to me, you know, and so I truthfully have been thinking about it a lot. And I think the conclusion that I have come to, is, despite my not knowing, despite my confusion, sometimes I am all in this life. I'm all in for loving people. Because the gospel at its core, is true, trusting God, loving everyone, including ourselves, and having faith and growing up. And those things, I will forever be, I will forever be all in. Because no matter what happens after this life, it will be it will have made my life the best that it could have been, by being all in to those things. And so to be all in the Gospel, just it means that I have love in my heart and that I have light and that I have trust, and I have faith. And I won't know until I die some of the things that I have questions about, but it doesn't matter, because my faith and God's grace makes up the rest of it. So...
Morgan Jones Pearson 53:59
Very well said, I completely agree for the record, I think I often think those things that you just described are what makes life beautiful. So it doesn't really matter if I don't have all the answers because I find joy in what you just described, which I agree is the gospel of Jesus Christ. Okay, and I'm wondering if before we wrap up if we can have you go up back up to your keyboard again.
Emma Nissen 54:31
Okay, luckily I have this up.
(singing in Swedish)
Morgan Jones Pearson 57:03
Oh my goodness that is so beautiful. And I just want to add because you didn't say this, but you said that you were able to visit your grandpa's grave and play that for him on the accordion is that correct?
Emma Nissen 57:16
Yes. And that was I think just like the bow on everything I it was the final touch. It just completed everything. i His death date. And his birthday happened to be the same day march 3. And we were able to we took his ashes back and he was buried where him and my moremore they grew up and they started raising their family. And someone in the North had actually given me an accordion while I was living up there. And I had it with me in my new area that I was living and I happen to just be 45 minutes away from his grace. And so on his birthday, I was able to go and take my accordion and visit his grave and play for him that song and speak to him for the first time in Swedish and just it was just beautiful. It was I will forever remember that.
Morgan Jones Pearson 58:07
Well, I think everything about your story, Emma is evidence of God's love for us. And I hope that people listening have felt that and maybe it's reminded them have little evidences in their own lives of God's love for them. I know that it's done that for me. And so I appreciate so much you sharing these experiences with us. And I just I hope everybody will go listen to your music because you're so so so talented.
Emma Nissen 58:35
Thanks so much. Appreciate it.
Morgan Jones Pearson 58:37
A big thanks to Emma Nissen for joining us on today's episode, be sure to check out Emma's songs on your favorite musical streaming platform, including "Hear Him" and "Gotta Have Faith." Big thanks to Derek Campbell of Mix at 6 Studios for his help for this episode. And thank you so much for joining us. We'll look forward to being with you again next week.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai