The following transcript is intended to aid in your study. However, while we try to go through the transcript, our transcripts are primarily computer-generated and often contain errors. Please forgive the transcripts’ imperfections.

===

[00:00:00] Morgan Jones Pearson: Rebecca Connelly has written some of the most beloved fiction books sold by Deseret Book in recent years. Inspired by a love for the work of Jane Austen, many of the stories Rebecca has written include romance. She, however, hasn't found her own love story yet, but remains a believer in happily ever afters and trusts that a God who loves us wants To give us and will give us every good thing in the end.

Rebecca Connelly is the author of more than two dozen novels. She calls herself a Midwest girl having lived in Ohio and Indiana. She's always been a bookworm and her grandma would send her books almost every month so she would never run out. Book fairs were her carnival. And libraries are her happy place.

She received a master's degree from West Virginia university and athletic training. And prior to deciding to write full time, she worked in sports medicine. Her newest book hidden yellow stars tells the true story of two world war, two women who risked everything to save Jewish children by hiding them throughout Belgium.

This is All In an LDS. podcast where we ask the question, what does it really mean to be all in the gospel of Jesus Christ? I'm Morgan Pearson, and I am so honored to have Rebecca Connelly on the line with me today. Rebecca, welcome.

[00:01:27] Rebecca Connolly: Thank you, Morgan. It's great to be here.

[00:01:30] Morgan Jones Pearson: this is so fun for me. I told Rebecca before we started that I had to thoroughly stalk her before we did this interview, because when somebody is a fiction writer.

You don't know a ton about them. And, so I had to really do some digging, but I learned so much about you, Rebecca, and I really am excited to get to know you. I wanted to start out, you said that you originally started writing in college and it was just something that you did for fun. Can you tell me a little bit about how you started doing that and when you've realized that it was actually something that you were quite good at?

[00:02:08] Rebecca Connolly: I'm not sure I ever realized it was something I was quite good at. I struggle from imposter syndrome, but I started writing. Oh, I don't know. I started writing seriously in college, but I used to make up stories and scenes all the time. That's just the way my imagination worked. I was a bookworm. And so stories were always in and out of my head or parts of stories or things like that.

and in college, it was just something that I Jumped into after I was going through a really hard time and writing this story became my outlet and a little bit of personal therapy and it healed me and gave me something to do that was wholesome and constructive and it just lit a fire in me and it was fantastic and of course when I finished that Novel that was the first novel I'd ever finished and I thought I was a genius.

I thought this was a masterpiece And it was brilliant and perfect So I immediately tried to get published I have lots of rejection letters now. And, but I learned a lot and I learned that it's a hard process. I learned that I wasn't a genius, but it was still an awesome thing that I'd done. And I had caught the writing bug.

And so I started collecting all of the notebooks that I had gathered throughout my life. Cause I don't know why I always managed to just collect notebooks and journals and things like that. I still have a drawer full of half empty ones. And I started, I was, oh, don't, tell the college students this.

I was a terrible student from then on because I was sitting in classes writing story ideas and sketching out plot lines in all these notebooks and barely paying attention to my classes. I'm pretty sure it's evident in my GPA from those following semesters, but. It never occurred to me to change my major to get involved in writing.

I did take one creative writing class after that, but it was just something I, I did and I didn't try to get published again until years and years later. I did submit to contests and things like that because I realized that I needed to develop that talent a little more. Or make it a talent if it wasn't, because it's something I really enjoyed, but it was, just something that fulfilled me.

And so for several years after that, it was just something that was between me and some friends of mine that I would send chapters to, and it wasn't until years later, like almost 10 years later that. I had a completely different set of books written, probably three of them were done, maybe four. And then the impression just came, maybe try publishing again.

And so I started looking at different options, different avenues, and some different things were available at the time from when I first tried to get published. I found this fantastic opportunity that It was a really interesting experience and tender mercy that someone that I thought was just going to give me advice and feedback actually wound up giving me my first publishing opportunity.

And that was, a huge blessing and still is. And so I still struggle with someone's going to discover that I don't actually know what I'm doing and I'm not actually that good at this. I think all writers do to some degree. I think if we lose that, then we get into trouble a little bit. I think when someone who actually was in the publishing field found something worthwhile in my work, that's when it occurred to me that's when Maybe I can do this.

Maybe, I haven't been just dreaming that this is something I can do. And I remember calling my parents and telling them that I had this opportunity and should I do it? And I remember my dad saying something to the effect of you've wanted this for years and you've been working on this so hard. Why wouldn't you take this opportunity that is before you right now?

this isn't an accident and this isn't. Something that you should ignore this, does this feel right to you? And I said, yeah, he goes and do it. And that's how things got started.

[00:06:41] Morgan Jones Pearson: That's awesome. that called to mind a couple of things for me. One, I always think it's amazing the difference that it makes when somebody believes in us, and it sounds like you had a couple of people that really believed in you and your ability.

But second, also, I, in preparation for this interview, which Rebecca told me this could get me in trouble, but I talked to Jason Wright, who we both know. And Jason said, he's Rebecca doesn't know how great she is. And so I think That sometimes like we have to have other people express belief in us because we are oftentimes our worst critic.

But that leads me to my next question, which is you're in a profession that involves receiving and taking feedback from a lot of people. You mentioned having a lot of people review your books and read them. I didn't know as I was prepping for this interview, I learned that there's A readers and B readers.

Is that right? And then you also have sensitivity readers. So tell me a little bit about what you've learned about the importance of being able to receive feedback, even in our personal lives and what that process of receiving feedback from all these different types of readers. And for people maybe that aren't familiar with that Tell us a little bit about how that works.

[00:08:06] Rebecca Connolly: Sure. Sure. So there are several different types of readers and reviewers for books. There's your alpha readers and your beta readers. Those are the ones that read your book as it's the alpha readers are the ones that tend to read it as it's happening or help you to get out of, the writer's block or the holes that you dig for yourself as a writer help you.

Make sure that things are flowing well and address continuity issues and things like that. Tell you if things are working, things like that. And then your beta readers are ones that help you fine tune it and polish it more. And then you've got your proofreaders and your editors that help you to clean it up.

And make sure that you actually look like you know what you're doing and writing and you've got your sensitivity readers, which basically means that it's someone that can read through your manuscript and help identify areas where you might have a blind spot, descriptions of, people or having a character phrase something in a way that could be taken, Could have offense taken, things like that.

Just they help you to make sure that you're respectful to anyone you know. And, you'll get specific sensitivity readers for, specific issues or audiences depending on what your book is about. And then you've got your, general readers and your reviewers and, people that do official reviews and things like that.

And those things get, published and put out there. And those people tend to not know you and so they can say pretty much whatever they want. That's where you get into trouble. so what I have learned is, one, not to take things personally, because those who know you personally are going to give you feedback that will help you, or be constructive.

And those who don't know you are going to say whatever they want and they don't know you. So it doesn't matter. But also I don't, I tend to not read reviews if I can help it because it's not healthy for me because as people, we tend to hold on to the negative ones and brush aside all the nice ones.

And that's not a great way to live. It's not a great way to look at your work and it's definitely not a good way to keep going in your career. and I learned that very early on bad reviews come in all the time, but I have learned that having a wide range of. ratings and reviews actually makes your book look more legitimate because it means you don't just have your friends reviewing it.

So maybe I should have little gratitude parties for my bad reviews because they make me look more legit as a writer. But early on there was a, an author in one of the writing groups that I was in that says, why are you reading your reviews? Are you nuts? And so I've kept that And sometimes I'll have, a friend go in and look at reviews for me, send me some good ones so that I feel good.

And then let me know if there's a, like something that gets brought up regularly in the reviews that has actually been, and to make it something constructive for me, because I don't want to read the bad stuff, but if there is something that I've missed or a mark that I didn't hit, that is a consistent theme.

Let me know so that I can improve on that. But. I don't want to stand somewhere and, ask bullies to throw things at me. So why would I do that with my reviews? So I'll see, that your reviews, you're like, Oh, I have four points. Two stars. Great. There are some people who don't like it.

That makes me look better.

[00:11:42] Morgan Jones Pearson: I, a couple of things based on that, Jason, I saw on Amazon that your books are very well reviewed by readers. And then Jason mentioned, he's Rebecca's books are, very well reviewed by book reviewers as well. He's she has a lot of credibility. But I also, I, we get reviews on this podcast and I had to do the same thing.

My mom finally said to me, like, why don't you just stop reading the reviews? Because we could get a hundred positive reviews and then one negative review. And the negative reviews would typically say something like. I don't like the sound of your voice and my mom was just reading that is probably not super productive.

so I do think there's value in recognizing like what is healthy and what's smart to consume. And I think you're smart to say, if there's something constructive, please share it with me. But I think that makes a lot of sense to me. I understand that last year you made a decision to quit your job in sports medicine to focus entirely on writing.

That has to be like a big decision. Tell me a little bit about how you approach that decision and what went into that?

[00:13:02] Rebecca Connolly: Oh, that was a terrifying decision to make. I am a, chicken. The problem with writing and fields like that is that it's, not a salary. Your, income varies from month to month.

It depends on, your sales. And that's terrifying, not knowing, that you're going to have this consistent number. And I, Oh, it was scary and losing benefits of a job and. Changing the way you look at a workday. I debated over this for probably 2 years before I made the decision and I, took a step back and did.

Part time I worked 3 days a week and was off to try it out and it worked out. Okay. But the workload that I still had in my day job. Was intense and so on the days that I was at work, there was a lot to do and I would get home and I was just exhausted. So I wouldn't have the brain power to write.

And then on the days when I was writing, I was still so tired and had so much to try to get done. That I wasn't as productive as I needed to be. And so I realized I had to make a decision because my writing productivity was starting to suffer. I was getting, I was fortunate to be getting contracts for projects and on top of the work I was already trying to do with my other publisher, and I just was struggling to keep up.

And to maintain the energy and brainpower to do the job that I was trying to do. And I just realized I could not continue to do both and succeed at both. I had straddled that line long enough and it was time to go one way or the other. And. I knew that my passion was in writing and that was, something that had more growth opportunities for me and I was okay with hanging up my athletic training pack.

And so I took the decision to the Lord, because I was like, I am terrified of making this decision. And the answer that I got was. It's okay. If you leave, it wasn't a, overwhelming, this is going to be brilliant. This is going to be, incredible. You are going to be a bestseller. You are, it was, it's okay.

If you leave and it's going to be okay. If you leave. And I was like, okay, So that was the fall. That was like November of 2022. When I was actually, when I actually left, And the lessons that I've learned since then are huge, such as I'm terrible at being my own boss. And I, I need to figure out a better way of working for myself.

It's challenging because no one makes you work. Your money doesn't appear in your bank account just because you showed up to work. I have to, write, I have to create my own money It's the way I describe it, and that's, it's an interesting challenge, and it's been an interesting challenge, but the Lord didn't promise me that I would, be on the bestseller list or anything like that.

He said it would be okay, and it has been. It's been a challenge, but it has been okay, and, there is work that I have to put in. It's not going to fall into my lap, and, and it's an ever changing and ever growing process, but. But I have been blessed.

[00:16:47] Morgan Jones Pearson: that's so interesting to me. And it makes me think about times in my own life where I've prayed about something and it's not like a clear cut.

this is absolutely what you should do. This will be a home run, And I wonder if sometimes the reason the Lord gives us more of just like an assurance that it will be okay is so that we will continue to put in the work ourselves. Because I think sometimes if it's oh, yeah, home run, you should absolutely do this, then we relax and if instead it's more of just like a.

That's all right. If that's what you want to do, then we put in more work ourselves on our end. I think that's a really interesting thing to think about. You, Rebecca, have made your career out of primarily writing historical fiction. And I wondered, have you always liked history? And then also, like, how do you choose which stories to write?

Because you've written, you mentioned World War I earlier. Your most recent book is about World War II. You wrote a book about the Titanic. How do you choose which stories are worth putting the time into writing a book about?

[00:18:06] Rebecca Connolly: So I've always liked some parts of history. So I can't say that I loved every history class I ever took, because it depends on what it was about.

But there are parts of history that I absolutely loved, and my, grandmother instilled in me from an early age a love of Jane Austen and the Regency era in England, and so that's where I started with my, historical fiction romance writing, and those stories are, easier for me to decide on because it's The story is in the characters and the romance and less about the history.

It's more just something that takes place in a certain historical era. And so I can do almost whatever I like there. and in those stories, in those instances, it's just whatever captures my, imagination, whatever, whatever exciting things the characters want to do. But as I've gotten more into historical fiction without the romantic elements, it's, I guess it's in a way, it's the same thing.

It's, I take something that's a known, event or time period, and I try to find the story in it. with the Titanic book, I actually, I was never super fascinated with the Titanic. I liked it, I thought it was interesting, but it was, I was at a Titanic museum in Belfast in Northern Ireland, and I learned about the ship that rescued Titanic survivors, and I'd never heard about that.

And when I got home from that trip, I did some more research, and I learned an incredible story there, and that it just grabbed my heart and my brain and started taking them in these directions. and I worked on that project for years and years before it finally Came to fruition and it was again this incredible story that I didn't know that I suddenly wanted everyone to know and that's how it works for me with my World War One book, a friend introduced me to this figure from history.

Edith Cavill, and I'd never heard of her. And the more I learned about her, the more I loved her and admired her. And, it was somebody that I don't know if history had forgotten her, or if it was just that she wasn't popular enough for me to have known her name, but I wanted to get her name out there because she was so amazing.

And with my World War II book, I learned the story and just thought it was absolutely incredible. And had to share it. And that's just how it goes with, some upcoming projects is the same thing. I learned something and I think that I'm a fairly average person. So the average person probably doesn't know this.

And so let's, share it. Let's tell this story. Let's get it out there. Let's find these gems in the history. We think we know and put it out there. And so that's how I decide on projects is what's the story that, that people need to know what is, find the story in these moments in history and tell it.

and, I've got several ideas. My poor editor, every time we have a meeting about what do we do next? She pulls up this list and I just cover my eyes because I get ideas upon ideas And then I have to. Pick through them. And it's always interesting when she reads through that list to go.

Oh, yeah. I remember that idea or who's that person? I've already forgotten that idea and or just going. Yes, please. Let me do that one please and so that's how it goes It's a really interesting process.

[00:22:01] Morgan Jones Pearson: I learned that this most recent book It started because your dad sent you an obituary.

He had read is that right?

[00:22:09] Rebecca Connolly: yeah, my, my dad was reading, the USA Today or something, and in the obituary for, for this woman that was on there, it had said that she had rescued, Jewish children during the Holocaust, and my dad loves World War II, and so he was reading it, and he, knowing how I like to find these gems of stories through history, sent it to me, and he goes, this might be an interesting thing for you to look into.

Sure enough, it was this incredible woman. Andre Galen had, died and she had just turned a hundred that year. So it was a twofold thing that she was, she had been a hundred, but also she had been this heroine in Belgium and world war two. And I was like, I didn't know this. I know that people saved Jewish children during the war, but I've never heard of this woman.

This is amazing. I love this. and it was just an incredible experience for the next 18 months.

[00:23:04] Morgan Jones Pearson: and you said in another interview that you learned that one of the children that she saved had become like a renowned medical doctor and I think it's, just so cool to think, like, how many stories there are that we don't know.

And I love that you're bringing these kind of characters to life and drawing attention to their, heroism. I understand, Rebecca, that you actually made a pretty remarkable family history discovery as you were writing this book. Could you tell listeners a little bit about that?

[00:23:40] Rebecca Connolly: Yeah, of course, I'd love to.

in doing the research for my book that's, it's called Hidden Yellow Stars, because it's about hiding Jewish children. And while I was doing research for this. I was using the Yad Vashem website. There's a fantastic database there about the Righteous Among the Nations, but also about victims and survivors of the Holocaust based on information that were kept at the camps, but also, information that surviving family members had submitted about the Holocaust.

About survivors, about victims, and things like that. So I was using this database on the Yad Vashem website to try to discover what had happened to some of these families. So that I had been, that I had been writing about some of these families involved in the hidden children of Belgium. Just to see if I could put some kind of resolution in my afterword or things like that.

And my paternal grandmother was raised Jewish, her family, her father's family is a Jewish line and we couldn't go back very far in our family history there just because of where our families from and the different programs and, the Holocaust, of course, and the destruction of Jewish records and towns.

it was really difficult for us to get much information there. We had some. Possible information that was handed down from extended relatives, but we couldn't verify any of it. And so we didn't know what was accurate and what wasn't. And so I knew the name of my great grandfather. He was the one that had come over to America.

I say the one, I don't know if he had other siblings that came over or not. I don't know any of his siblings names, so I can't check that. So I knew his name and we knew his father's name and his mother's name and where he was from. And we are from this place that was at the time it was Hungary. And it's this place called Uskorod and it is now in, Ukraine, I think.

Those boundaries changed so many times over the years. But yeah, so it's now Ukraine, but at the time it was Hungary. So I'm looking at this database for my research and I thought, while I'm here, I might as well put in, my family's information just to see. I knew that my, great grandfather was already in, sorry, my two times great grandfather was already over in America.

and I knew that my great grandfather had been born in America. And so anybody that we did find would have been, second cousins, third cousins, I don't even know, I had no idea who I was going to find or if I was going to find anyone that, Could be actually related to us.

It was, I might have run into the same issue that I run into trying to find Connelly's in Ireland. Then that is, there are lots of them and it's impossible to tell you that I'm related to them. And so I decided to, to try, why not? And I used the spelling, the Americanized spelling, and I used the, European spelling.

And I came across a woman named Sarah and her maiden name was. Was our family name and she was from this girl and I was like, oh, that's interesting. So I clicked on her and I looked at her paperwork and Her father was the exact name of the last known Ancestor that we have in our family tree. And it's not a particularly common name.

At least I don't think it is. It's, it was the same first name, the same middle name and the same last name from the same town in the right time period. And that was too much of a coincidence for me. I'm like, there's no way. There's no way that there's more than one. It's Zigg Hirsch Grunewald from Ustgrad.

In this time period. And so I, looked at it and it, had to be, I compared it to the dates to ancestry and she was only a couple of years older than my two times great grandfather. So it worked out perfectly. And I just stared at it and then I called my dad because it's his line. And I said, I just found.

Grandpa Greenwald's aunt. That's his grandfather. So my great grandfather. I just found Grandpa Greenwald's aunt and he said, what? And I said, I just found Grandpa Greenwald's aunt. There's no way. And I explained the situation to him and we just sat there on the phone with each other, not talking kind of breathless that we'd found.

Not only a relation, but I knew where she belonged on our tree. It was grandpa, grandpa Morris's sister and my dad's grandfather, Harold. It was his. and he had never met her guaranteed because he was born in Chicago. I think, I don't know. Maybe he was born in Michigan. I'm sorry if I just offended all of my family, but looking at this, it was incredible.

And then looking at her, it had her, husband, and he, and, he was a Hebrew teacher and it had her children. at least some of them, I don't know if it's all of them. I only know what's listed on the website, but I had. I found her, some of her children and some of her grandchildren who were born.

Some of them were, one of them was born in the same year that my grandmother was. And so it's not only were they family for me, but I knew where they went on the family tree. And we're not talking second and third and fourth cousins and distant relations. It's my two times great grandfather's sister.

It's my great grandfather's aunt and his first cousins. And. It was absolutely incredible. We always suspected, obviously, because of having Jewish family in Hungary during World War II that, yeah, we probably do have family that, that was involved in the Holocaust, whether they were, people that, that escaped or whether they were victims.

But we had, we had no idea who or where or how just because of when Grandpa Morris Greenwald came over, but there they were, and they had names, and they had death dates and death places. And it's most of them died at Auschwitz and suddenly the holocaust wasn't a potential family event. it was an actual family event and these, people that we always wondered, about they're there.

They are on the family tree. Now they have names and it was, absolutely amazing. Incredible. And it's still humbling for me to know, about them, to know their names. Some of them had pictures. And so I was able to look at their pictures and it seems a, small thing to do, but I had to dedicate that book to them because without working on that book, I would never have found them.

And one of the most special things was when The doctor that you mentioned, earlier, he's a friend of mine. Now, professor Shawl Hurrell, he lives in Tel Aviv. He read my book for me to make sure he was one of my sensitivity readers, but also accuracy readers. Cause he was one of the hidden children.

so he read the book for me. And when we put in the detail in my notes about finding my family, he calls me up from Tel Aviv and he says, Rebecca, your last name is Connelly. How do you have Jewish blood? And so I explained to him the connection and I told him about it and he just, I could hear the smile in his voice and he just says, so you're in this book too.

And that just made me cry because he is actually in this book. He actually survived these things, but because Of my family, because of my family connections, he felt that it was my story, too, and it became so much more real. And so it was just a beautiful thing to discover humbling and bittersweet, because obviously the fate that they suffered, but to discover them.

And to put them in their proper place on the, family tree was just fantastic.

[00:32:40] Morgan Jones Pearson: That is so awesome. I think it's so cool to, to see the way that sometimes our professional lives can intertwine with our personal lives and see the way that the Lord cares about everything that we do. I want to ask you, Rebecca, one thing that I found interesting, and it was funny because I mentioned this to Jason and Jason goes, huh?

that's actually a really good question. You should ask her. Jason wants information. Yeah, but I, I. Was single until just a couple of years ago, and single into my thirties. And so I think being a single adult is something that I just have such a soft spot in my heart for and, am grateful. And also recognize the challenges associated with that.

I think it's interesting that many of your stories include romance. And so some of your readers may be surprised to learn that you are actually single yourself. And I wondered how does that affect, is it difficult to write stories in which There's this romance and excitement, but maybe those things are not happening in your personal life as much, or is that an escape?

Does that give you hope? how do you approach that?

[00:34:06] Rebecca Connolly: I've always been a hopeless romantic. yeah, so it's very easy and it's probably easier to write about the romances than to try to live one because I can control all of the aspects in my book. so and other people are feeling the things and the insecurities and the social anxieties and everything like that.

And I don't have to because I'm writing it. That's fine. but it's, never been a problem for me because I, believe in romance, I believe in the, hope of the, happily ever after. and it's fun. And I realized that life is not fiction. And I realized that the characters that I'm creating are in fact characters, they might feel real to me, and to readers, but they are characters.

I do my best to give them flaws, it's still, they're still fiction, but no, it's, never been, it's never been a problem just because I'm, okay. I, I love writing my romances. I love still believing in, in the possibilities and in the happily ever after. It's, never been about me when I'm writing those.

I don't write those instead of having a social life. maybe I do, but that's just personal. it's just easier. No, it's never been about me when I'm writing the romances. It's not something I do in place of, it's just, that's what I love to write. Those are the stories I love to create. And so that's what I've been doing.

And, Real life is what happens while you're doing other things. Is that, how that goes? Or life is what happens while you're making other plans or something like that? And so it's it's interesting. I think if life had gone the way that I thought it was going to, the way I would have planned, writing might never have happened for me as a career.

And the opportunities that I've had being a single woman might not have come to me if I'd been in a different place in my life. So the Lord has a plan in place for me. And every time I try to steal the pen, I learned that's not a good idea.

[00:36:33] Morgan Jones Pearson: Wow. You just, I feel like you just said so many things that are, that I feel the same way.

I feel like, the Lord very much is involved in our stories and is the writer of the stories. I've probably quoted this on this podcast a million times, but my very favorite quote is by Mother Teresa and talks about how, she says, I am, but a pencil in the Lord's hands. He does the writing. The pencil has only to allow itself to be used.

And I think that You're a great example of that, and I applaud you for that. I love the way you said, you still believe in and happily ever afters. I learned at 1 point. I felt like I just needed to tell myself that these things that I was hoping for and dreaming about outside of my career. That those things were never going to happen for me and then I'd be happy and I learned from that a brief period of time in which I convinced myself to believe that is a story that is told to us by the adversary that despair is a tool of Satan and the opposite of despair is hope and so if we can continue to hold on to hope and believe in that happily ever after, And trust that is what the Lord wants for us.

That makes a huge difference in our happiness. And, I also agree that it is what happens while making other plans that, can take us by surprise and. My mom used to always say when I was single, she'd say, I think when you stop worrying about it, that's probably when it's going to happen for you.

And I was like, how am I supposed to not worry about this? because it's so top of mind, but I do think when you are anxiously engaged in other things and doing your best to live the kind of life that you can control because I honestly believe that being single in so many ways is not something that anybody can control.

But the important thing is taking control of the things that you do have the ability to influence. And you are doing that. And I just, I respect that so much. And I look up to you for that. You have gone through some difficult things, Rebecca. And one of the things that I learned is that you had a head injury that caused you to permanently lose your sense of smell.

And I loved reading your blog and listening to you talk about that because I think Sometimes it's I temporarily lost my sense of smell post COVID and I was like, oh, there's, there are worse things than not being able to smell, but it does affect a lot of things. And so I started to think, as I was reading your blog and thinking about that situation that.

There are a lot of hard things that you can go through, and especially as a single adult, you're going through those things seemingly, at least from the outside looking in, it would seem like on your own. And so I wondered, what have you learned about yourself by going through hard things? And what have you learned about the goodness of God as you've gone through these, difficult challenges?

[00:40:00] Rebecca Connolly: Sure. I think one of the, one of the things that the Lord is trying to teach me is that we are stronger than we think we are. And I'm not sure that, I would have come to that realization if I'd had to go through the, these challenges with someone. Instead, I've had to find my way through it with the Lord's help and learning that.

Relying on him is really the only way to get through hard things in our lives. the struggle that I had with my head injury, that happened while I was in graduate school. And it was, a big upheaval because I was recovering from the head injury as well as losing my sense of smell. And with that effect, it affects everything that you eat.

Because flavor is lost to you and your memories change a little bit because suddenly you can't recall the way your house smells or, things like that. And so it's, it can be very traumatic and I, learned just how personal our relationship with our heavenly father and our savior can be, how well they know us, how perfectly they know us.

And how sweet that relationship can be, because that was something that it was impossible to get through. And somehow here I am, 10 years later, and it wouldn't have been possible without them. I managed to get my degree, which wouldn't have happened under those circumstances without. Without their help.

And I learned that people are going through things that we can't see that things that aren't obvious. Nobody would look at me and be like, Oh, she's had a head injury and Oh, she can't smell anything. And Oh, she's currently struggling with her appetite because food doesn't taste like anything. And she's having to relearn how to experience.

And, she's bad because she can't enjoy her favorite foods anymore. nobody knows. Nobody knew what I was going through. And because we don't wear signs that say, this is what I'm presently struggling with. Please be kind. And so I had to look at myself with compassion, but I began to look at others with more compassion and realize that there are so many unseen wounds.

so much. as the hymn goes, may my unseen wounds be healed. And I couldn't tell you at this moment, which him that is, but it's one of them. And it'll come to me as soon as we get off, but suddenly became very real for me, this unseen wound, multiple ones, and learning a completely new way of looking at life, but also realizing that it was going to be okay.

It was going to be an adjustment and it was going to take a while, but it was going to be okay. Thank you. And my relationship with, my Heavenly Father and with my Savior would not be what it, is now, without those hard things that I've had to go through myself, I've, and I've learned the beauty and the power of womanhood and that our access to our Heavenly Father and to our Savior's Atonement is not limited by Our marital status or our challenges or anything else.

it's not limited at all. It's entirely up to us. It's there for our taking. It's. It's something that we have perfect. And constant access to, it's just up to us to knock down those walls that are keeping us from it. And that our, testimonies can grow and blossom and. And become these incredible.

Pillars of strength that I don't know that I ever thought about it in that way. It's just become part of my, my growing up, growing into the. The daughter of God that I want to be, I'm still growing into her because I'm not there yet. But there are hard things that we go through that force us to either look down or look up.

And I've learned that the only way to go through is to look up and to reach up because they are, reaching down. But if we're not reaching up and we're missing.

[00:44:49] Morgan Jones Pearson: That was so well said. I. So many things that you said resonated with me. I Googled may my unseen wounds be healed because I was like, I know that line too, but I don't know what song it's from.

And oddly enough, it's from as I searched the Holy scriptures, which I would have never thought that was where that line came from. But I love that. And in one of the interviews that I listened to with you prior to this interview, you talked about like these kind of unconventional. Kinds of grief and that we often think of, grief over the loss of a loved one or grief over.

loss of a job or something like that, but that there is grief associated with something like losing your sense of smell, which, you mentioned is associated with memories and you're. Your appetite and I, agree that it's I think President Eyring said, assume that everyone you come in contact with is going through something hard and you'll be right.

Some percent of the time, and I, completely agree with that. I also agree with the fact that so many times it's those things that help us turn to the Lord and form a relationship with him that we wouldn't have otherwise. One of the sources of. immense strength to me, through the hard things that I have been through has been the temple.

And in particular, when I was single, I felt like the temple was just something that I could draw upon. I, you mentioned earlier, as we were talking before the interview, that you're a temple worker. Is that right? And I also worked in the temple, and I just, as I was prepping for this interview, found myself thinking about the temple and what it meant to me.

And then Jason mentioned that your parents were recently called to serve as temple president and matron of the Indianapolis temple. I wondered what your temple covenants have meant to you, Rebecca.

[00:47:01] Rebecca Connolly: The temple has always been an extraordinary blessing in my life. And yes, my parents are, have been called to be the next temple president and matrons.

They start their assignment in September and there's, a. Is a piece and a beauty to the temple that is underrated. They're beautiful buildings. Don't get me wrong, but the temple covenants are the purpose of the temple. And those are even more beautiful and sacred and special. and as a, single woman, I realized that I can only progress so far by myself, but I also know that.

A loving Heavenly Father would not limit me. No blessing will be withheld from, those that, that love and serve the Lord and that live worthy of their covenants. And so should I pass through mortality single, then that's okay. It's not going to limit me. In the hereafter, our Father in heaven has a plan, and so long as I live worthy of my covenants, then I will have the promised blessings.

And the covenants that I've made in the temple become my, the anchors to my ship, the stakes to my tent, the things that keep me grounded in the gospel, but also the things that help to keep me looking up, looking heavenward, looking for the good when things are hard. Life is hard. It just is. That's mortality.

And I tell myself that frequently, that this is just mortality. And the temple is where we are reminded of the proper perspective, the proper order, the proper focus. And I remember someone once saying something to the effect of, I hate leaving the temple and going back to the real world. And Someone else replying that, no, the temple is the real world.

And that has, stayed with me. that is just to me, that's, perfect and beautiful. And, that is, the whole point. It keeps me looking up and remembering that mortality is just a short time and there. Our challenges that come to us, and there are ways through it, and I can think of no better way through mortality than with my temple covenants and with continuing to go and be reminded and helping others to be reminded of their covenants and to help those on the other side of the veil to make those covenants and to remember that the ordinances and the covenants are made.

As individuals, even when you're even when you're married, you're still like, your covenants are individual and each ordinance is 1 by 1, just as we come to our Savior 1 by 1, our testimonies are built 1 by 1. Our promises are individual and 1 by 1, and we will be judged according to the lives that we live and how well we live up to our individual covenants.

And so in, in many respects, in most respects. I am just like every other member of the church trying to live up to their covenants and build their testimonies and live the best life possible. And it's just that ceiling to spouse that I have yet to experience and the Lord will grant that to me either.

In this life or in the next and so it's just up to me to continue living faithfully and his timing is when it's all going to happen. if it would probably help me to stop worrying about what I think timing is, because his is the 1 that is going to be what my life needs.

[00:51:11] Morgan Jones Pearson: and I think too, I love what you said about mortality is hard because I think sometimes people have a tendency to think, Oh, like it, when this thing happens, whatever it is, then I will be happy or then it won't be hard.

And I think the reality is it just is hard. It just is hard. It's, intended to be hard. And so if it's not one thing, it'll be something different. but I, When you were talking, it called to mind my trainer on my mission. In her homecoming talk, she said something to the effect of the gospel of Jesus Christ is not the light at the end of the tunnel, but light all the way through.

And I think that is the beauty of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Like you said, is one by one, it's individual and the intention is to give us light throughout the whole journey, not just at the end. And Rebecca, thank you so much for sharing your experiences and your goodness with me. I'm so impressed by you and I appreciate your time more than My last question for you is what does it mean to you to be all in the gospel of Jesus Christ?

[00:52:25] Rebecca Connolly: I think to be all in means that you are Fully committed and willing to give yourself to the Lord, to the gospel of Jesus Christ, to immerse yourself in the practice of daily repentance and to follow the covenant path, to follow in the footsteps of our Savior and to.

walk in his way and to realize that walking the path of discipleship and following him is going to give us blisters and it is going to tear up our sandals and it's going to put a lot of travel dust on our feet but the savior is the one who washes our feet and that our blisters will become calluses and we will continue to follow and The path will be difficult, but it is the most worthwhile way to live.

It's the only way to live with. With true happiness, I think, and so to be all in is to give yourself to the Lord to lose yourself in his work to let his plan be the one that you seek, because from personal experience, trying to write your plan on top of his. Doesn't work out very well if you want to be content and if you want to learn and grow in the way that he seeks for you, you will find that he knows you well enough to know what is best.

And he loves you enough to, watch you grow in that way.

[00:54:13] Morgan Jones Pearson: Rebecca, thank you so much. This has been such a treat for me and I appreciate it very, much.

[00:54:19] Rebecca Connolly: You're welcome. Thank you for having me.

[00:54:25] Morgan Jones Pearson: We are so grateful to Rebecca Connelly for joining us on this week's episode. You can find Rebecca's newest book, Hidden Yellow Stars, in Deseret Bookstores now. A big thanks to Derek Campbell of Mix at 6 Studios for his help with this episode, and thank you so much for listening. We'll look forward to being with you again next week.