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[00:00:00] Morgan Jones Pearson: On the drive down from a hike up Mount Fuji with his young family, U. S. Navy Lt. Ridge Alconas fell unconscious and his vehicle tragically ran into a restaurant parking lot, taking the lives of an 85 year old Japanese woman and her 54 year old son in law. U. S. Navy investigators Alconas must have passed out due to altitude sickness, but a Japanese judge determined that Alconas had simply fallen asleep.

sleep and sentenced him to three years in prison for negligence. Lieutenant Alconas spent 537 days in custody. And for 537 days, his wife, Brittany did everything in her power to bring him home. Lieutenant Alkonis calls her the real hero in this story. I would say they're both heroes. Brittany's efforts paid off.

And on Friday, January 12th, Lieutenant Alkonis and his family were finally. Reunited.

This is All In, an LDS Living podcast where we ask the question, what does it really mean to be all in the gospel of Jesus Christ? I'm Morgan Pearson, and I am so excited to have Ridge Alkonis and Brittany Alkonis on the line with me today. Ridge and Brittany, welcome.

[00:01:19] Brittany Alkonis: Hello. Hello.

[00:01:20] Ridge Alkonis: Thank you.

[00:01:20] Morgan Jones Pearson: Well, this is honestly, this is like one of those interviews that I dreamed would happen and didn't know if it ever would.

And I am so honored to have the chance to talk to both of you. I've looked up to you from a distance for some time now, along with many other people, I'm sure. But to start us off today, Ridge, I wondered, you entered the Naval Academy in 2006 and then officially made a commitment to join the Navy in 2010.

I wondered if you could start us off by telling me a little bit about that decision and why it was important. to you to make that commitment to join the Navy?

[00:02:04] Ridge Alkonis: Oh, well, you know, there's two parts of that. One is purely practical. So I'm the oldest of five kids and looking for a way to pay for school was important for me.

I didn't want to suck up all the funds that my parents had. And make it so that my other siblings weren't able to go after their goals or dreams that they may have in the future. And so I was always searching for a way to make sure that my education was free and going into my senior year in high school, the, the various service academies, mostly the Naval Academy, and then West Point, the military Academy, the army's version.

We're on my list and luckily for me, the Naval Academy offered me the opportunity to continue my baseball career, which was something that I was hoping to do after high school. And then the other side of it was. Service is just a big part of our family. My dad, 30 year firefighter, multiple relatives in the military teachers.

And so going into that line of work just made a whole lot of sense to me. And I enjoyed, and the Navy specifically, I've always loved the ocean, loved being in the ocean, near the ocean. And going into the Navy seemed like a great way to ensure that I was going to be close to the, to the water. Going forward in my adult life.

[00:03:43] Morgan Jones Pearson: Okay, those are both, both good reasons. Brittany, what, how did the two of you meet?

[00:03:50] Brittany Alkonis: Oh, I get to answer this question.

So we are both from Southern California, but we actually met in Annapolis, Maryland. And after BYU, I moved out there. My dad's the only one that ever moved away. The rest of his family is still in Annapolis. So I spent a lot of time there during the summers and I've always loved it. And so after BYU, I wanted to move out there and give it a shot.

And we ended up meeting at church.

[00:04:19] Ridge Alkonis: So we did meet in church, but Brittany wanted nothing to do with me. She moved to Maryland partly to get away from the Utah dating scene, I guess you could say.

[00:04:30] Brittany Alkonis: I don't think I'm unique in that. I think a lot of girls from BYU are ready for a break.

[00:04:36] Ridge Alkonis: And I was firmly in the, uh, I would, she wanted nothing to do with me.

And so it took a while to warm up to it. And then she got all angry at me when I wasn't picking up the signals. Because she'd been sending opposite ones for a year at that point. A year? Yeah, a year.

[00:04:54] Brittany Alkonis: What are you talking about?

[00:04:55] Ridge Alkonis: We had known each other for eight months. Okay, close enough. And eventually I asked her,

[00:05:00] Brittany Alkonis: this is not accurate.

Never let the truth ruin a good story.

[00:05:08] Ridge Alkonis: Anyway, so we went on our first date to the Naval Academy ring dance. It's a big deal. And we all get dressed up. I'm in a uniform that looks like a tux full ball gown for Brittany. And I asked her and she gave me the, well, I'll have to wait and see. And. And her friends had to talk her into it. And luckily we all had a great time and we kept on dating after that and fast forward about a year later, we were married.

[00:05:42] Brittany Alkonis: Yeah, I would say alteration. So we had known each other for about eight months. It's not that I didn't want anything to do with him. Like I said, I think a lot of. Women that leave BYU kind of need a break, a detox from dating. And, uh, I thought he was nice to look at from day one, but we were really good friends.

I was, we didn't have a YSA word there. It's a smaller LDS community. On the East Coast, except for in DC, you know, that's a lot bigger, but we were on the outskirts of that. So I was in charge of the YSA activities. I would always ask him to come because I enjoyed spending time with him. But yeah, when there was a midshipman dance, wasn't, it was held by the LDS midshipmen and they invite people from all over the East Coast and that night I decided he might be nice to date.

But he didn't ask me to dance that night. I was totally flirting with him. He asked some other girl to dance. I was like, whatever, dude. But then a week or two later, he asked me to the ring dance. And it's not that I didn't want to go. So I had a side job working for a catering company. And I thought I was catering that dance.

And so I couldn't just totally blow off, you know, my boss and this commitment I had. Turns out the Naval Academy had two balls in one weekend. So I was confused. I don't think that's a normal thing. And I was working the other one. So It all worked out. It all worked out. And he looked so handsome.

[00:07:17] Morgan Jones Pearson: You weren't catering.

You were catering the other dance.

[00:07:20] Brittany Alkonis: I did. I catered the other dance. He was the best looking one of both dances, I will say. And he bought me crab cakes that night and it's history from there. We had a good time. So, so yeah, I didn't want to date anyone in the military and in the end the uniform did me in.

He made it look good.

[00:07:41] Morgan Jones Pearson: Big mistake.

[00:07:42] Ridge Alkonis: Marry you? Should have avoided the military.

[00:07:47] Brittany Alkonis: Uh, yeah, you know, but that's in the past.

[00:07:52] Morgan Jones Pearson: As you two have navigated military service as a couple, which I know is something that many people listening can relate to. Tell me about how or why that service has meant so much to both of you.

[00:08:07] Ridge Alkonis: A lot, a big portion of our time, our married life has been spent overseas in a military community. And when you're overseas, the only, your entire friend network, everything that you have is built into your job. It, everything revolves around the base. When the ships come and go, who's there, who's not. And very few people have a in law or a mom or a dad to rely on.

When you're on the other side of the world. And so it just becomes baked into every aspect of your life. And we got married in July of 2012. No, I messed that up. June of 2012, by July of 2012, we were in Japan. For my first tour of duty after graduating from the Naval Academy. So I graduated May 29th, June 1st, we're married July.

We are in Japan by August 1st. I'm deployed. So from the very beginning of our relationship, navigating deployments, helping the others that are kind of leaning on each other. Was just a part of it. It's it's really all we've ever known as as a family and as a married couple

[00:09:27] Brittany Alkonis: I'm, not sure I would say that The military is the focus of our life, but rather our family Is is the focus of my life.

And so when it became clear that the Navy was going to be a part of that, um, you know, we, we were all in, we did the best we could, um, we did the best we could to be a part of that community to raise our kids to be a part of that community and to support the people around us. And throughout that process, um, you know, immediately leaving the Naval Academy, I think Richard 5 years, give or take.

So, he's re, upped his contract a couple of times since then, and that has always been a family decision, whether or not to stay in. And then we've moved around several times. He went to grad school and. All of that every time he put in his preferences for where we wanted to live, you know, and, and the decision of whether or not to stay in the Navy, those decisions were always made very, very prayerfully and I think one thing that I have been blessed with.

During our marriage is, you know, an assurance from my Heavenly Father that when we've made choices, we've known that they're the right ones. And when we've been up, when we've ended up places, we've known that that's, you know, where our family should be and knowing that. Or where we're supposed to be doing what we're supposed to be doing has just given me the confidence and the strength to get through whatever challenges we've met in those situations.

[00:11:19] Ridge Alkonis: Yeah. And just to add on to what Brittany said a little bit, I mean, I think when I, when I think about the Navy, I don't view it as a company or an organization or an entity. I view it as a group of people, a family in the same way that I think of a family or a ward. Or any other group of people that likes the needs to come together to accomplish difficult things at times or just needs to lean on each other.

And so I viewed it the same way when I had people that worked for me or with me, I, I treated them the same way that I would treat someone in my own family or a member of a quorum or a ward or any of those things. So interesting.

[00:12:07] Morgan Jones Pearson: So Brittany, you mentioned challenges and on May 29th, 2021, began a challenge that I feel like no one could have anticipated your family took a trip hiking Mount Fuji and on the way home experienced something that I.

We'll be honest, I hate even making you relive, but for those that are not familiar with your story, I wondered if you would mind sharing what you remember about that day.

[00:12:39] Brittany Alkonis: Yeah, you know, I'll go into a little bit of it. Ridge had been gone for several months. He was back for a brief period of time, and then he was going to be deploying again for the rest of the year.

And so we decided as a family, something our kids wanted to do was go hike Mount Fuji. You know, it's that iconic snow cap mountain that we always see off in the distance and we decided that that Saturday would be a great day to do it. So, got in the car, we drove up to the 5th station. That's generally where most people start hiking.

If you start all the way at the bottom of the mountain, you're just kind of trekking through the forest and it doesn't have that. Mount Fuji feel to it. So, yeah, so we drove good way up the mountain, parked at this station, started our hike, you know, our kids were saying, how old were they then? I don't even remember anymore, but tonight we're roughly eight, six and three.

So we started our hike up the mountain and at about. 8000 feet, it was getting real gravelly real slippery and everyone's getting kind of hungry. So we decided to make our way down. So got back to the car. Hopped in, started driving down the mountain. There was this, this dairy at the foot of the mountain that.

Ridge went to as a missionary and we had brought our two oldest kids there the first time we lived in Japan and it's just really cute. It's at the foot of Fuji. It's in these beautiful farm fields and you go and they have freshly made ice cream from The various types of cows so you can try the different ice creams based on the different breed of cow and they are freshly made cheese and butter and pizza.

And so that was that was going to be our destination. It's a very steep drive up the mountain with a lot of switchbacks and. We had been in the car for some time. I think we were only six or seven minutes away from lunch and I don't remember what I was doing. I may have been looking at a flyer of some sort or my phone and Ridge said, you know, you got to stop doing that or you're going to be too sick by the time we get to lunch.

And I was feeling sick. So I put down whatever I was doing. I kind of leaned my chair back a little bit, closed my eyes. And the next thing I knew we, we had crashed, you know, that was, that was the start of an over two and a half year political and legal nightmare. Bridge was taken from the scene to prison.

He was clearly not medically okay. He was not conscious when we crashed. I had to eventually pull him out of the car because He was slowly coming to, and I was trying to talk to people, and I was trying to call 911, but no one understood me, and so I had to get the kids out. I had to pull him out and tell him that I needed him to get on the phone.

I needed him to start talking to people. You know, eventually the ambulance came, two individuals were taken to the hospital, but I was told, I was obviously very upset and one of the ambulance drivers was calming me down and just telling me that it's okay, everyone's okay, you know, I know it's scary, but you'll be fine.

And ultimately everything was not okay. The two individuals that went to the hospital, one passed away that evening from a punctured lung. The other one had a broken hip. He had been working from the hospital. They were told he would be fine and about a week and a half, two weeks later, after surgery, he had a blood clot and he ended up passing away.

So, Ridge, during that time, he was, he was in prison. He was put in solitary confinement for a month. He was interrogated for eight hours a day. You know, he they would ask him what happened. He would say, I don't know. I need to see a doctor and he asked for a blood alcohol test. He asked for a drug test.

They said, no, we're not worried about that. You know, you weren't drinking or doing drugs. They said, but you need to tell us what happened. He would say, I didn't know what happened. I need to see a doctor and. Around him around that one, so ultimately they decided he fell asleep, even though he was mid conversation with our daughter when he blacked out.

And even though the crash didn't didn't wake him up, nothing about what happened indicated that. He did fall asleep, but that's what they decided and it is a hostage justice system with, I mean, research shows anywhere from 99. 5 to 99. 9 percent conviction rate and when they decide you're guilty, you're guilty.

So he was sentenced to 3 years in prison after about a year long legal battle. And that's kind of when my, my political battle started was when he went to prison the following year,

[00:18:21] Morgan Jones Pearson: Brittany, let's talk about that for just a second, because I think that you were and have been continued to be just like.

Absolutely magnificent in terms of crusading for your husband, taking care of your kids and just being a rock star through the whole thing. Obviously, I was watching from a distance and I'm sure it was far harder than anybody has any idea, but I wondered. We talk a lot in the church about the worth of a soul, and certainly we could say that Ridge's story is both a testament to that principle and also could be used as like a counter because certainly there could have been more help in that department, but I wondered what you both have learned through this experience about the worth of a soul.

[00:19:19] Brittany Alkonis: So I, I think Ridge knows I love him, so I'm just going to say it, but it wasn't about him, you know, from day one, it was not just about him. And so while things were hard for us, while they were bad, I knew that Ridge would be okay. I knew that I would eventually be okay. I knew our children will eventually be okay.

And that word obviously has a broad spectrum of meanings. But, you know, when all is said and done 20 years from now, as a family, I knew that we would be able to recover from this. But when we talk about the Navy family, and I'm sorry, I'm going to speak for you for a second and you can cut in, but Ridge, he didn't go to work for the president.

He didn't go to work for the secretary of defense. He went to work because of his sailors. He was incredibly fortunate to work with some incredible people and he would come home and he would tell me their stories and they were inspiring. They were absolutely inspiring. And you saw these people that.

Grew up in some really harsh circumstances and they came to the military to make something of themselves, you know, they had to make the decision that that park bench was too cold and they were sick of being cold and so they were going to join the Navy so they can make a life for themselves. And so many of those people that I saw, if they found themselves in a situation like ridges, they would not be as fortunate.

They would not have the familial support that he had, they would not have had the public support that he had, you know, we had this crazy idea that 1 day we were going to be adults and buy a house. And so we had worked really hard for a decade to save money. So we had money to well, even with that. I mean, we had to raise roughly 600, 000 dollars to help to help pay the settlement, but.

It would have been so much worse had we not, uh, had this money saved up. And so for as many bad things that happened, and as many times I was told this is unprecedented, like all the bad things were unprecedented for as many times as bad things happened, we had things happening in our favor as well. And it just, it made me so angry that while Ridge may be the first person that it's been this bad for, he's not going to be the last, and so lasting changes needed to be made.

And so, I don't know, that's, that's why this fight isn't over, like, he's home, but there's still a lot of changes that need to be made, and it's because I believe. That every soul does have worth and I don't believe that any, I have to figure out how to say this without getting too political, but our service members, they're, they're not, they're, they're not poker chips that can just be tossed away.

And that's why this is, that's why it was so important to me.

[00:22:37] Ridge Alkonis: Yeah, and from my perspective, I said from the very beginning, once the. Kind of the politicians got involved and Britney's Britney's advocacy efforts started that I don't want anybody to do anything if it could harm someone else, someone else's situation in the future, someone who found themselves in a similar situation as me.

I didn't want to make it worse for them. Because I did, I wanted to get out of jail or I didn't, someone else didn't want me to, to be in jail anymore. I would have done every single day of those three years, if anything that happened, because on behalf of me made it worse for them, I was not going to sacrifice.

So even all the way up until the very end, when I was going through the last kind of legal process to get transferred back into the U S judicial system. I looked everybody straight in the eye and I said, Hey, is anything that's going to happen today? Is there chances that it's going to make it worse for other Americans and other U.

S. service members stationed in Japan? And if they would have said, yes, you know, we're not quite sure this could really have some blowback. I would have cut it all off right there and stayed in prison. But as I mean, the question that you asked. The, the value of souls, my perspective, I kind of gained a new perspective on that being in prison, people who, people that are in prison have been sent there and they've been deemed unworthy to maintain their place in society for whatever reason, and, you know, I did a lot of soul searching in terms of.

They're not soul searching. That's the wrong way to put it, but just, I wanted to understand my place inside a geographical area that I never thought I'd find myself in. And prison, there's a lot of movies. There's a lot of TV shows and, and things that you, but I had never really experienced it firsthand.

But what I came out with is, first of all, the type of people that are in prison are just people, they're, they're still human beings, they're still sons and daughters of our heavenly father, and that he still loves them. And if he still loves them, then I should love them too. And so I worked really hard to show a little bit of, of Christ like love, some light, whatever you want to call it, try to bring that into the prison system because it's a dark place.

And it is a dark, isolating place, but that doesn't mean that I don't have a responsibility to make it a little bit better.

[00:25:22] Morgan Jones Pearson: Okay, so I want to touch on that really quick. I watched an interview that you did right after you got home. And I can't remember if it was with CNN or with Fox News, but in one of those two interviews, you talked about how you were determined that you didn't want the time that was spent in prison to feel like it was wasted time.

And so you got a job in the prison and you learned a skill. Can you tell listeners a little bit about that?

[00:25:53] Ridge Alkonis: Yeah, okay. Well, first of all, so I, my sentence was imprisonment without forced labor. Everyone else in my prison had a sentence that forced them to do hard labor. I could opt into it. If I did not opt into it, then my option was to be in solitary confinement for the duration of my, of my sentence.

So my options of work or no work, it was a very easy choice. Being in a five by 10 cell for days and days, you know, for 500 some days in a row would have been rough.

[00:26:24] Morgan Jones Pearson: So you're like, get me out of here.

[00:26:25] Ridge Alkonis: Yeah, exactly. So anything to get out of, out of the cell was motivation to work. And I enjoy working in general.

So when they, they put you through this processing and the very, once you get there and part of it is, Oh, if you want to work, what kind of jobs are you interested in? The prison that I was at, the main job there was, it's a soap factory. They make laundry. So. For various entities, the other prisons and in Japan, and so a good chunk of the people end up working there.

But I asked, hey, if there's a way I'll work in the kitchen, I'll work as the landscapers and kind of the maintenance crew, whatever you want, I want to be on my feet. I'd like to be as active as possible. But I want to work. And luckily for me, I was put in the tailor shop, which I mean, talk about tender mercy.

There is no other job that I could have gotten in the prison system or in my prison that would have allowed me to learn such a valuable and applicable skill to my life outside of. Of being in prison. So I started making prison clothes. I started real basic making linens, sheets, pillowcases, things like that.

And eventually graduated all the way up to making shirts, pants, every, everything that the prisoners wear. And I focused so hard on, you know, every day when I showed up, I wanted to get good at what I was doing. I didn't want to just throw these things together. I wanted to be capable. And a large part of it is, so at the time, my release, the release date of prison over my ward.

Or at least at the time of the accident was Katie Corbin who's been on your show. And so I knew that. It was possible.

[00:28:12] Morgan Jones Pearson: You knew that sewing is a cool thing because Katie made it cool.

[00:28:16] Ridge Alkonis: Exactly. Katie made it cool. And when you're in her ward, you get to see her, her skills on display every Sunday. And so I knew you could, you could do it yourself.

You could teach yourself to do it. And so I thought, Hey, here I am. I'm, I'm not having to pay for these materials. I've got a sewing machine that I get to stand in front of for eight hours a day. I should really make sure that this sticks. And so I worked hard at it and I asked Brittany for sewing books.

You know, I was very limited on what I was allowed to sell and how I was allowed to sell it. But I would read these books when I would get back in my cell in the evenings. Okay. How could I, there are new stitches that I can learn or new. New ways to sew on a pocket or a waistband. And I was always looking to kind of develop my skills.

And I had a notebook that I would keep on the different techniques. I wanted to learn or try what kind of clothes that I would like to make. And I'm still excited about it today. I mean, last night I'm, I made my first necktie. That was like a big win when the whole, when my first met my lawyers that had been working so hard for me, once I had come home, I wanted to show them a little bit of something of.

Of what I had a skill I had developed while I, while they were working for me. And so I went and got some red corduroy from the store and I made myself a pair of pants so that when I met my lawyers for the first time, I could do it in a pair of pants that I made for myself. And yeah, and that's, that's one, that's a tangible thing that I can walk away and say, Hey, now I, that it's not all bad.

[00:29:53] Morgan Jones Pearson: So this, Hey, oh, Brittany's got your tie. That's cool. My big question right now is when are you and Katie going to do a collab?

[00:30:03] Ridge Alkonis: Yeah. Can we make that happen? We'll see if she'll, if she'll allow me I wouldn't if I was here, that's for

[00:30:11] Brittany Alkonis: sure. It can be a private collection.

[00:30:14] Morgan Jones Pearson: I think it's a good idea.

[00:30:16] Ridge Alkonis: Yeah, I do too.

I love Katie's stuff and she was great to us. Who needs

[00:30:21] Brittany Alkonis: color more than a prison?

[00:30:22] Ridge Alkonis: Right, ain't that the truth? I really wanted something tangible to walk away saying, look, this is what I learned. This is, I am now better because I can do this. And you know what? I learned how to do it while I was in prison.

[00:30:37] Brittany Alkonis: We went to the fabric district this past weekend in Los Angeles and all the kids picked out fabric, so they're excited for some daddy made, uh, nightgowns and shorts and all sorts of fun stuff.

[00:30:52] Morgan Jones Pearson: Amazing. Amazing. Well, I'm excited to see, um, you're going to have to post pictures or something. I, I want to quickly before we move any further.

Your experience in prison obviously was not all sewing and happy and enjoyable. As I followed along your story and, and I actually, I have a friend that also followed really closely and shared a lot of the posts and things and she said that your story just reminded her of people in the scriptures that were imprisoned Without cause and unfairly.

So I wondered if you could tell us a little bit about what your experience there outside of the tailor shop was like, and you also read, you served a mission in Japan, you are a return missionary who served in Japan. You've loved the Japanese people. And so I wondered if, if having had that experience made everything that you were experiencing in Japan, even more.

[00:32:04] Ridge Alkonis: I can't say that it made it any more painful or hurtful, but I will say that I, my love for the Japanese people has never wavered and you know, that started as a missionary, but it, it continued as a service member. One of the reasons we were there is I felt because of my ability to communicate and ability and ability to relate.

To members of the Japanese community that as a U. S. service member, I could provide a service that just the majority of Americans in that capacity could not. And just because I was in a car accident, just because I went to prison hasn't changed that at all. I still love the Japanese people and there's a lot of some of my best friends I ever met.

That I've ever been around people that I truly do love and, and respect are Japanese and that will always be the case. Uh, just, yeah, just because something bad happened to me in a foreign country, doesn't erase the. A decade of, of goodwill and good memories and great experiences that I've had there now kind of pivoting a little bit to my experience in prison.

Not so happy most of the time prison is, is a tough place. It's isolating. And I spent, yes, roughly 8 hours a day in a tailor shop. There's no speaking. So I was able to freely speak with others around me. For roughly an hour and 15 minutes a day. So that's, I got a 15 minute break from nine 30 to nine 45, where I could communicate with the other.

Uh, prisoners inside the laundry and tailor shop, we would play games or just sit around and talk. And then we'd get an hour, 50 minutes to an hour in the afternoon for exercise where we could freely talk. Outside of that, there's no, there's no free communication. So it's very isolating and you spend a lot of time in your cell weekends, holidays, all in your cell all day.

I probably did close to close to 200 days. Total. Oh, the COVID lockdown. Yeah, the COVID lockdown. You're probably 200 days ish of my 500 and some days. And in a cell by myself, so that's the, the main, I was, I was physically. Okay. I think a lot of people think about prison as, Oh, you're physically in danger all the time.

I never felt that in, in, in Japanese prison, but the isolation and the, the always having someone watching you is mentally taxing. And that was difficult. I had to figure out ways to overcome that. I mean, I, I joke with a lot of my Navy friends that, Hey, being on a deployment on a Navy ship and being in prison, there's a lot of similarities and a lot of ways that my, my military training prepped me for what I went through in prison, but the big difference when I was on a ship.

Yes, I couldn't communicate very easily with the outside world. Yes, my, uh, options for leisure or recreation were limited and I was busy all the time and I slept in really small spaces, but we all had a purpose. We all were coming together to accomplish a mission, to get from A to B, whatever it was, there was a clear purpose to what we were doing.

When you're in prison, you don't have that. The whole purpose is to just stay alive until your sentence is over. Well, that doesn't do a whole lot in terms of motivating you to get up in the morning and to help you feel like a human, really.

[00:36:09] Morgan Jones Pearson: I cannot, I cannot even imagine. I think everybody, when you're talking about the loneliness and the isolation, can relate on a very minuscule level.

Post covid, but that's most people were around other people, you know, it wasn't entirely alone and by yourself. And even that isolation drove people crazy. And so I, I think that that would just be awful. Brittany, as bridge was going through this, you were, like you said, you kind of became a lobbyist in addition to taking care of your family.

I wondered what were the biggest things that you learned through that experience?

[00:37:00] Brittany Alkonis: You know, that is, I think it's going to be many years before. I feel like I can really verbalize everything we went through and everything I learned. I still feel like I'm very much processing so much of it on the more spiritual side of things.

A lot of people said to me throughout this process. Everything happens for a reason, or you're a current Bush and God's pruning you and the fact of the matter is, I, I don't believe that. And not only that, I believe. That statements like that are contrary to the gospel, they are contrary to the plan of salvation and they are contrary, you know, the plan of salvation, the plan of happiness, it's all about free agency.

And so if everything happened for a reason, that means that God's up there playing puppeteer, right? And if that's the case, why are we here? What are we doing? Sometimes things just happen. And some people might, might think of that, that might be disheartening to hear, but

I don't know for, for me, I,

I feel like there's less to be angry about when things just happen, you know, we can't, there's not always someone to blame sometimes life's just hard and so that, that was kind of. I don't know. I think that was kind of a journey for both of us into that.

[00:39:00] Ridge Alkonis: No, totally concept. That was my first big kind of spiritual hurdle to, to, to jump over in the midst of all this process is to better understand why bad things happen to good people.

Because I mean, right now, testimony meetings, first Sunday of every month became extremely difficult for me to go to, to the point where I almost gave up going because. It was so hard to sit there and listen to the kind of structure of, I'm struggling with something or something bad happened. I prayed really hard, or maybe I fasted and then something good happened and here I am in the middle of, of not seeing that, you know, even from the beginning stages, thousands of people coming together and prayer and fast and fasting.

And I felt like I was. I was really trying to everything that I could to access the powers of heaven, what we were hoping for wasn't occurring. And I had to figure out a way to believe that God existed and that he still loves me while understanding the reality of my situation. And so we did a lot of, of pondering and reading and trying to come to grips with that, because those are not That's, that's not the easy answer.

The easy answer is you're really, really good. God takes care of you,

[00:40:38] Brittany Alkonis: but you pray enough, you fast enough. The blessing comes.

[00:40:42] Ridge Alkonis: Yes. But that's not always, you know, Nephi is Nephi's bow breaks and he, and they all start starting. Uh, Joseph gets thrown in prison for just trying to, to be nice to Potiphar and his wife.

Uh, Paul ends up in jail countless times. I mean, we can go on and on, but this, this is not, there is no guarantee in the scriptures that say, if you are really, really righteous, nothing bad is going to happen to you. And but we don't talk about that enough. And so that we did a lot of searching on that topic.

[00:41:18] Morgan Jones Pearson: Well, I think that's spot on. I years ago, I interviewed a lady who was a professor at Duke Divinity School and her name's Kate Bowler. She wrote this book, Everything Happens for a Reason and Other Lies I've Loved, and I have thought about that so many times since then. And I think one thing, and I feel like we've kind of already touched on this in this interview, but maybe that further, this further draws it out.

I think things do just happen to us, and we choose to give them purpose. So like, Ridge, you in the tailor shop, like, That was like finding some little amount of purpose to give to the experience that you were having. I don't know that everything happens for a reason that like God appoints that reason, but I think we can choose to give our experiences purpose.

And, um, And I agree that sometimes things that are said and I think Kate Bowler does a great job in that book of highlighting the fact that like sometimes the best thing you can do is just sit with somebody in the middle of a hard experience. You both have made covenants to one another and to God. And ironically, I think this episode will come out on Valentine's Day.

Um, and I think that that is very appropriate because the two of you are just like the best, cutest, sweetest love story. Um, and so I wondered what role did covenants play in supporting and sustaining you both through this experience?

[00:43:01] Ridge Alkonis: You know, I think the covenants that you make in the temple are eternal.

There's no, there's no take backs, there's no do overs. And I think that that firmness, that all encompassing knowledge that, Hey, if I'm going to, if I'm going to believe what I believe, I'm going to say, if I'm really going to be a follower of Jesus Christ, then I need to do it all the time and in all ways and in all things and in all places.

And for me in prison, that meant living a, a gospel centered life in a place where a lot of the tools and techniques that are put in place didn't exist. So there's no ministering brother or sister in two cells over, and there's no bishop to come that you can call or someone to give you a blessing or you have to find new ways to do it.

And I needed to do that partly because of the covenants that I made to my family. They deserve a father, a husband, when this was all over, that was just as capable as the day, the day before the accident occurred. I had to be at least that's that good, hopefully better. And that gave me some direction. And so I, I searched and I searched for somebody people always would throw out names like, Oh, Joseph in Liberty jail.

You know, everyone sent me DNC one 21, uh, Jobe. Everyone wanted to talk to me about Jobe. And I would, I would listen and I would think about these things, but to me, what, who I connected with was Joseph. Uh, I, I, I brought him up earlier, but he was unjustly put in prison. And, and what did he do? He ended up just taking care of everybody and then ended up running the prison himself.

And I thought, okay, here's a guy who had every excuse to just curl up into a ball and, and say, well, it was me, but he didn't. He decided to live the principles that he believed in. And then when he got out, he was once again, able to serve his family. And that's what I wanted to do. That was the example that I wanted to follow.

And it was largely because. I knew of my worth and the importance of being a father and how those pertain to the covenants that I had made

[00:45:48] Morgan Jones Pearson: All right, Brittany, you're up.

[00:45:49] Brittany Alkonis: Well said You know, my my covenants are important to me, but I I think i'm Struggling to correlate their importance to me and and how I Handled the situation. Um You know, I I was not someone who always thought I I would get married That's why I was comfortable moving to Annapolis, Maryland after graduation, where everyone's like, I'm not going to meet anyone.

You're going to be a spinster forever. That was, that was okay for me. And then when I met Ridge, I realized that if it was ever going to work with anyone. It was going to be with him. And so from the moment I've made that decision, it has been an internal decision and I am committed to that. However, I also have the benefit of being in a relationship where I love and respect the person that I'm with and I feel loved and respected by them.

And so I think, you know, that makes it very easy for me. And I know I'm very fortunate to be able to say that it is easy for me to honor those covenants when I'm in a relationship like that. But I think, I mean, my love for him, for my family, it's, it's eternal. And so whether he was in prison for 3 years, 5 years, 10 years, I was going to be there when he got out.

And I don't know people would say to me a lot if it was my wife she would have left me in there I don't think that's true I think people don't know what they're capable of until they're until they're thrust into the situation

[00:47:32] Morgan Jones Pearson: But I I would say that that probably is true It probably is true that that people don't know what they're capable of but I do think britney you You really took it to another level, and you should, you should give yourself props for that.

I, I wanted to touch on something that we haven't touched on yet. Unfortunately, from what I understand, despite Ridge, your continued efforts to apologize, to try to make recompense for, for what happened, They that family has chosen to this point in time not to offer forgiveness And I am trying to think if that's the best way of saying this, but I Would imagine that because of that you've thought a lot about forgiveness and its value and what it means Um, I wondered what the two of you have learned about forgiveness

[00:48:39] Ridge Alkonis: The folks that were affected by my accident in terms of, uh, loss of life and their family, I feel for them.

I, I grieve for them all the time and I want to be there, be there for them in any capacity that, that eases their burden of, of grief, of pain, whatever is, is necessary, I would, I want to do that for them and. Yes, forgiveness is, has, uh, I'm not going to tell them when or how or if ever to forgive me, that's their decision.

And I don't even think about it. All I want is to help make their life just a little bit better, a little bit easier. And. Yeah, I, I don't have any negative feelings towards anybody who has not forgiven me. I'll, I'll, I'll put it that way in terms of how I view forgiveness as a whole, being in prison is an interesting place.

Everybody there either ran out of second chances or never got one. And I think of all the times I'd seen other people make various mistakes in their life, myself included, and what. The power of forgiveness, what it can do in people's lives, and I, I thought all the time about Jesus's counsel of he is without sin cast at the first stone.

He, he taught us right away that, hey, none of us are perfect. We're here to love 1 another. We're here to support 1 another. And in a lot of cases, the 1st step of that is, is forgiveness. Now, those are Christian beliefs, and so as I was wrangling my own feelings towards forgiveness, I was doing it through that lens, whereas I was in an environment and a culture where a lot of those teachings are not in place, and so I was trying to To figure out how to weave my own beliefs and come to terms with how, you know, another group of people may see things.

And, but ultimately I, I have definitely been become more of an empathetic person. I'll put it that way. It has seeing the type of, when I, when I saw people in prison, I never talked to them about what they did or why they were there. All I knew is that they were there with me. And like I said, they're just people, sons and daughters of our heavenly father.

And I'm who also need to be forgiven at some point, and I can't do that in term in a legal way, but I could give them forgiveness in a way that allowed them to feel a little bit more human and not so much just. Like an animal

[00:52:03] Morgan Jones Pearson: You mentioned wrangling with emotions I would imagine that the two of you have experienced probably about the widest range of emotions Humanly possible over the past few years.

I wondered before we get to our last question What have you learned about God's understanding of that wide range of emotions? Maybe like his allowance of a wide range of emotions in the midst of this experience.

[00:52:32] Ridge Alkonis: Yeah, I'll start. Is that okay? Yeah. Yeah. So right when I, one of the, the neat things that I got to experience while I was in prison is that people sent me all kinds of cool stuff to read because it was the only thing that I could do.

So I read all types of different books. People would send me their Sunday, uh, sacrament talks. All kinds of cool stuff. And one of the first things that I got was from my brother in law, big shout out to Kirk, talking about the, the unique, one of the unique aspects of Jesus Christ is that he was both 100 percent human and 100 percent divine.

And he not only understood our, our emotions, our struggles. As a kind of overarching father to small child, like a manner, but he felt them personally. He knew exactly what it felt like. And I'm sure the other people listening, you too, Maureen, have been able to talk with someone who has experienced something very similar to a struggle that you've had in your life and that instant connection that you develop with someone is unique and powerful.

And I firmly believe, more than I ever had before, that Jesus Christ can do that for all of us.

[00:53:55] Brittany Alkonis: So I have experienced a lot of emotions throughout this process. I mean, just disbelief, betrayal, anger, fear, unbelievable grief.

And, you know, my, my children have been beside me through every step of the way.

And I, you know, there's, there's certain things that I've been able to protect them from. But for the most part, they've They've been through it all, and despite all that, they have been able to love and forgive,

become more compassionate towards others that they see at school, become more compassionate toward each other, more patient toward each other, toward me. You know, if you had asked me a few years ago, I would have told you that a situation like this could tear a family apart, but. They've really showed me how to love and how to love in spite of everything else.

And, and to me, I've been able to see Christ like love through them. And, you know, that's, that's helped me in my forgiveness process. Thank

[00:55:46] Morgan Jones Pearson: you both so much for taking the time to talk to me. My last question for you is what does it mean to you to be all in the gospel of Jesus

Christ?

[00:55:58] Ridge Alkonis: I mean, you ask every single person that you do this with the same question, so, you know, it's coming and while I was in prison, I said, a lot of people sent me things to read 1 of which was your book and I read every single word of it and I, I just.

Devoured people's answers to this question, and I want to make it clear that I don't feel myself that I could say that I'm all in all in is such a, a total phrase, and I wish I could. I wish I could say that I, I'm I'm 100 percent committed 100 percent of the time. So, and then I started thinking, Oh, well, what if, what if Morgan asked me that question?

I never thought that I would do this, but I thought, well, what I'd answer. I think it's an important. And so it kept my mind going. And so for, for weeks, really, I would sit there and I would ponder this question and I wanted to be able to say it in one sentence. That was easily digestible and it kind of haunted me because I never was able to do it.

But now you have to, I know, but now I have to, right?

[00:57:13] Morgan Jones Pearson: It doesn't have to be in just one phrase, but if you want it to be.

[00:57:17] Ridge Alkonis: Yeah, but what I, so then I, I pivoted and I said, what does all in, what does being all in look like? What can I emulate or what can I use to help describe it? And I, in my scriptures while I was in prison, I had one of my bookmarks permanently on the story of Abednego, who I think are the epitome of being all in on the gospel as they stood looking into a fiery furnace of death, staring straight at the king and said, I believe that my heavenly father can save me for that fire.

But even if he doesn't, I'm willing to go down a believer. And that's what it means to me to even staring at the most daring, difficult situations, trials, whatever it is. That you're willing to do it with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ by your side, no matter what.

[00:58:35] Morgan Jones Pearson: Thank you so much, Ridge, Brittany.

[00:58:39] Brittany Alkonis: I think an important thing to remember is that, you know, while we were on one collective journey as a family, Ridge and I walked two extremely different paths, you know, he was in prison for 18 months for 17 months of that he was, he was only allowed to talk to people for an hour a day, Monday through Friday.

And so he had time. I'm not saying that time was easy, but you know, he read 192 books in prison. He had time to think, he had time to contemplate his feelings and his thoughts, and I didn't have that. You know, the kids and I were on a very different journey. Waking up every morning was, it was survival. It was trying to ensure that every day my kids felt loved and they felt safe.

It was fighting. Every day was a fight. It could change hour by hour. But, you know, getting Ridge out of prison, that was beyond a full time job. I was working that job in five different time zones with a huge team of people that I'm so grateful for. And on top of all that, I kept my job. So I was working as well.

And so I'm just, I'm just coming off of that. I'm just having time to think and to try to understand. Everything we've been through, but despite all that, I'm still here and so to me, that's what being all in is. It's not always understanding. It's not being the plan of happiness doesn't mean you're always happy, but I'm still here.

I'm still waiting for understanding and I'm still praying for peace that I know one day will come.

[01:00:56] Morgan Jones Pearson: Well, I completely agree. And I thank you both for, like I said, your examples. I know that, um, you probably have no sense of how many people, um, Were inspired by your example both of you Um, and I just want you to know that I am definitely one of them And so thank you so much for taking the time to talk with me and for sharing your experiences and your thoughts They're so valuable and so helpful.

So, thank you

[01:01:32] Brittany Alkonis: Thank you so much.

[01:01:34] Ridge Alkonis: Yeah, thanks for giving us an opportunity. I mean, these things have been stuck in my head as I pondered them for so long. I appreciate the opportunity to say it out loud.

[01:01:49] Morgan Jones Pearson: Huge thanks to Ridge and Brittany Alkonis for sharing their story on this week's episode. I was so honored to have the opportunity to learn from them. And I hope that this episode has reminded you of the. Essence of the love we celebrate each Valentine's Day, you can read Bridges story and learn more by visiting bring Ridge home. org. Big thanks to Derek Campbell of mix at six studios for his help with this episode, and thank you so much for listening.