When many of us hear the “covenant path,” we think of a sequence of ordinances we must receive to return to live with God someday. As Dr. Kerry Muhlestein, Brigham Young University Professor of Religion, wrote:
“Our brains intuitively understand journeys, and we naturally crave to have a clear path marked out for us whenever we think of travel. Thus, it is not surprising that the symbol for our process of returning to God is often spoken of in terms of a journey along a path.”
The image of the covenant path is used throughout the scriptures, and it can be a helpful analogy for visualizing the plan of salvation. At the same time, we can sometimes focus so intently on the path markers that we misjudge someone’s spiritual progression or feel anxious about their eternal destination.
Expanding our understanding of the covenant path helps us find more peace as we support our loved ones on their journeys. As we love others along the path, here are a few ideas on how we can all feel more hope and joy.
Express More Trust, Less Fear
In our sincere desire for others to experience the joy of covenants, we can sometimes project a sense of fear or shame when someone’s journey looks different than ours.
For example, a friend recently shared that sometimes, when her family expresses concern about when she’ll get married, it feels like their comments come from a place of fear rather than hope. While she knows these comments reflect their love for her, it would be more helpful for her family to reassure her that they trust her and have faith in God’s timing.
We can still have hope for someone to take steps on the covenant path without losing hope in them or the Lord’s plan.
Perhaps the best way we can support our loved ones on the covenant path is by focusing on all the good they’re already doing. We can bolster them in their spiritual journeys by speaking about the future with hopeful anticipation rather than uncertainty or fear.
Honor Individual Timelines
It’s important to remember that while there are general guidelines and specific conditions for making covenants, there is no one-size-fits-all timeline for receiving ordinances on the covenant path.
For example, the Church handbook emphasizes that the “decision to receive the endowment is personal and should be made prayerfully.” It also encourages leaders to avoid using generalized criteria, like reaching a certain age or leaving home for college, to determine someone’s preparation for this sacred ordinance.
Similarly, while someone can work toward a temple marriage, the timeline and possibility of the sealing ordinance is different for each person—and sometimes remains beyond our individual control in this lifetime.
Our loving Heavenly Father knows the full picture and will give everyone the chance to accept the blessing of an eternal family someday if they wish. But until then, we can support our loved ones where they are and honor their righteous hopes and efforts now.
As Elder Gerrit W. Gong shared in a recent conference talk:
“During this life, we sometimes wait upon the Lord. We may not yet be where we hope and wish to be in the future. A devout sister says, ‘Waiting faithfully upon the Lord for His blessings is a holy position. It must not be met with pity, patronizing, or judgment but instead with sacred honor.’ In the meantime, we live now, not waiting for life to begin.”
Grow Together
While single members may wonder how to progress along the covenant path while waiting for the opportunity to be sealed in the temple, married couples who have made all the temple covenants sometimes ask the same question now that there isn’t another living ordinance to work toward. A comforting reality is that regardless of which ordinances we have received or have yet to receive, we are all essentially focused on the same question: how can I progress in my relationship with God?
Just because someone isn’t receiving a new ordinance doesn’t mean they aren’t moving forward on the covenant path.
“We are always progressing,” Sister Kristen M. Yee taught. “There is no waiting queue in this regard. No matter our marital status or background, if we are willing to follow the Savior, He will provide ample opportunities for us to learn and grow, to communicate and build relationships, to repent and forgive, to love and nurture, and to come unto Christ and be changed.”
By supporting each other in our individual growth, we can build stronger relationships and feel more love—on both sides of the relationship.
Love without Judgment or Pressure
As we move forward on the covenant path, we will naturally want to help others experience the joy of the gospel, helping God in His work “to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man” (see Moses 1:39).
This outward focus is a crucial part of our covenant responsibilities. Author and medical oncologist Dr. Tyler Johnson described it this way:
“Walking the covenant path is not just checking off a list of required ordinances. It is, instead, a call to become a certain kind of person, and the scriptures are very specific about what that kind of person looks like and what that kind of person does. While we forever remain imperfect—individually and collectively—to the degree we fail to live up to our promise to relentlessly mend, heal, lift, buoy, build, and better the world, we are neglecting the charge that comprises the beating heart of covenant Christian discipleship.”
But in our efforts to love others, do we sometimes narrow in on covenants so closely that we forget to see the person in front of us? How can we strengthen one another while being both accepting and encouraging?
One of the best ways to do this is by loving people where they are rather than judging or pressuring them. They may be dealing with unique challenges or factors that we know nothing about, and as author Melissa Inouye suggested, it’s unrealistic to expect someone else’s path to look the same as ours:
“We don’t all navigate the same terrain. Latter-day Saints are not all on the same path in terms of life experiences, goals, assumptions, and actions. It would be nice if the person I spoke to at that meeting were standing right beside me as we rode a Covenant Conveyor Belt straight through life, passing all the necessary milestones, seeing the same scenery. …
“Clearly, because of differences in our birth, locality, language, lived experience, and so on, making and keeping the same covenants with the same God does not necessarily put us all on the same path, or on the same page or plane.”
Thankfully, it’s not our responsibility to forge the same spiritual roads for our loved ones or drag them to specific path markers. We each get to choose which paths to take as we traverse life’s individual landscapes, and the Savior will help us face our unique hills and valleys. He always stands ready as our loving guide, with arms outstretched to lead us home.
Focus on Christ
Ultimately, our job is to love people in such a way that directs them to Christ. When we feel anxious about someone’s current location on the covenant path, we can find comfort in this reminder from Sister Tamara W. Runia:
“It’s the Savior’s work to bring our loved ones back. It’s His work and His timing. It is our work to provide the hope and a heart they can come home to. …
“In earthly families, we’re simply doing what God has done with us—pointing the way and hoping our loved ones will go in that direction, knowing the path they travel is theirs to choose.”
As we think about our progress on the path and guiding others with love, our most important focus should be moving toward the Savior together. The covenant path isn’t about trying to save others or ourselves—it’s about following Christ and allowing Him to guide us on our individual journeys back to God.
“We must remember: it’s not the course alone that will exalt us; it’s the companion—our Savior,” President Emily Belle Freeman said. “And this is the why of covenant relationship.”
For more ideas about how to support your loved ones on the covenant path, check out the articles below:
▶The simple thing my mom did that showed me the power of temple garments
▶How to partner with Christ to become the listener your children need
▶What is the covenant path, and how can we know we’re on it? Scholar Kerry Muhlestein answers
