“Home is a special kind of feeling,” as John Rutter’s well-known lyric says. The song describes feelings of belonging, shelter, welcome, cheer, and quiet. But sometimes, this ideal can feel far from reality—especially when siblings are bickering, dishes are piling up, and emotions are rising.
No matter our situation, we can nurture happy homes by centering our efforts on the gospel of Jesus Christ. Here are three ways to cultivate good feelings in your family.
1. Pray Together
“Pray in your families unto the Father, always in my name, that your wives and children may be blessed” (3 Nephi 18:21).
Although it sounds simple, praying as a family is a powerful way to nurture feelings of love and unity.
A study from researchers at Brigham Young University found that families who prayed together regularly reported increased feelings of connectedness and support and reduced relational tension. Participants also described family prayer as an effective way to facilitate communication about individual and family concerns, create opportunities for interaction, and share religious beliefs across generations.
“From the time [children are] young, help them learn how to pray,” Elder Neil L. Andersen has counseled. “Help them love to pray. Pray as a family. Show them how they pray individually, even when you’re not there. If they will have a spirit of prayer and learn the Lord will answer their prayers, they’ll never stop praying.”
In addition, research suggests a positive correlation between prayer and strong marriage relationships. Praying as a couple can defuse arguments and tension by soothing heightened emotions, encouraging spouses to consider different perspectives, and even promoting physical health outcomes like increased brain activity and improved heart rates.
Praying as a couple also helps bring the Spirit into your decisions. President M. Russell Ballard once shared the following advice he received when he married his wife, Barbara:
“When Elder Harold B. Lee performed our sealing, he taught us a principle that I believe all couples will find helpful. He said, ‘Never retire without kneeling together, holding hands, and saying your prayers. Such prayers invite Heavenly Father to counsel us by the power of the Spirit.’”
2. Build a Strong Family Culture
“[Bring] up your children in light and truth” (Doctrine and Covenants 93:40).
An important way to nurture a sense of belonging within your family is to establish a shared family culture.
Family rituals and traditions can go a long way in fostering unity. They help instill family values, promote bonding, and create lasting memories. According to a 50-year research review by the American Psychological Association, family routines and rituals can even contribute to health and well-being by offering stability during stressful seasons.
Your family’s traditions don’t have to be extravagant or take lots of time to create an impact. In fact, it’s the little things that might make the biggest difference.
“One home evening, one gospel conversation, or one good example may not change your child’s life in a moment, any more than one drop of rain causes a plant immediately to grow,” Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf has taught. “But the consistency of small and simple things, day after day, nourishes your children much better than an occasional flood.”
Here are some fun rituals to consider incorporating in your family culture:
- Have phone-free family dinners
- Go on weekly family walks
- Enjoy cinnamon rolls while watching general conference
- Talk about what your family learned after church every Sunday
- Set up FaceTime calls frequently with faraway relatives
- Play upbeat music while working on chores together
- Hold monthly game nights
- Make popcorn and watch the Book of Mormon videos together for Come, Follow Me discussions
3. Share Thoughts and Feelings with Love
“Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers” (Ephesians 4:29).
As we navigate living with imperfect people, conflict is inevitable. But the Lord has blessed us with divine principles and patterns to help us learn to “live together in love.”
Holding family councils is a great way to encourage kind and candid communication while resolving any issues together. Try these tips to have more successful family councils:
- Plan the meeting ahead so your family can brainstorm discussion items
- Begin the council with a prayer
- Celebrate your family wins and talk about what’s going well
- Give everyone a chance to share how they’re doing and what’s on their minds (you could even try using a talking stick if your family would find that fun!)
- Ask questions like: “What can we do differently?” “How can we help?”
- Talk about upcoming plans and what you can look forward to as a family
- Eat a treat together or play a fun game together afterward
You can also foster loving communication outside of these family meetings by being a peacemaker in your words and actions, regulating your emotions in tense situations, and inviting the Spirit into your home.
Focusing on the Savior’s love will help us build happier families and experience miracles—no matter our circumstances. “Whatever problems your family is facing, whatever you must do to solve them, the beginning and the end of the solution is charity, the pure love of Christ,” Elder Uchtdorf said. “Without this love, even seemingly perfect families struggle. With it, even families with great challenges succeed.”
For more tips for building Christ-centered homes, check out the articles below.
▶ 4 stories from scripture that teach us how to create a Christ-centered home
▶ The power of the 8-second hug + other easy ways to intentionally connect with your kids
▶ A better way to explain ‘having a testimony’ that gives teens a solid foundation
