In celebration of their 50th wedding anniversary, Elder David A. Bednar and Sister Susan Bednar shared what they’ve learned during their marriage in a recent devotional at BYU-Idaho.
Over the course of the night, there was a specific piece of counsel that Elder Bednar touched on repeatedly:
“You do not find the marriage you want to have. You create it.”
He stated that he prayed the Holy Ghost would convey the truth and relevance of that statement to those in attendance.
“It is true, and it is for you,” he said.
Though acknowledging that marriage can sometimes be frustrating, Elder Bednar also assured the audience that “it is also the most deliriously joyful and happy thing you can experience in mortality.”
He emphasized that creating a happy marriage is built upon small, sometimes silly things and “not big vacations” or “grandiose outings.”
This concept is embodied in a sweet practice the Bednars do when they are “fussy” with each other. Sister Bednar explained that one of them will pull out an old game of Scrabble they received as a wedding present and invite the other to play. Instead of competing against each other, they work together to use up all the tiles. Before long, tensions dissolve.
Marriage is an Opportunity, Not a Guarantee
The Bednars also addressed the fact that many single people fear the possibility of divorce and heartbreak.
“We have learned that because you are afraid of that heartache, you search and search for the person who will guarantee that you will never again have that kind of heartache,” Elder Bednar said.
But he clarified that a temple sealing does not ensure a perfect marriage:
“The house of the Lord—the sealing that takes place—is an opportunity. It is not a guarantee. It is predicated upon our faithfulness in honoring the covenants, keeping the commandments and becoming ever more devoted disciples of Jesus Christ. Returning often to participate in that holy ordinance is one of the greatest reminders of what we are trying to establish and to become.”
Uncertainty is a part of life, the Bednars acknowledged, but “if you are honoring covenants, keeping commandments, pressing forward, you will be where you are supposed to be, and you will be doing what you are supposed to do.”
Regardless of the surprises they’ve met throughout their fifty years of marriage, Elder Bednar and Sister Bednar know that they couldn’t have written a better script for their lives.
“It could not have been as good as what actually happened,” Elder Bednar said.
Read the full devotional recap at the Church News.
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