Debt Freedom More Important than Marriage?

Dear Dave,
When does reaching the point of being debt-free become more important than marriage? We're following your plan and doing the debt snowball, but my husband's been working a second job, and it's really cutting into our together-time at night and straining our relationship. I'm afraid we're going to end up debt-free, but divorced. When does one outweigh the other?

Tracy

Dear Tracy,
When does one outweigh the other? Maybe when you stop whining?

Seriously, getting out of debt is never more important than your marriage. But families go through all kinds of stuff, and one of those things is cleaning up messes they've made. It's not always fun, but there's a price to pay if you want to win with your money or anything else.

It sounds to me like your husband has gone gazelle intense about getting out of debt, and in the process may have left you behind a little bit. I don't recommend that! He probably needs to take some time to come back and emotionally re-connect with you. And I'm sure some good, old-fashioned back rubs and words of encouragement from you are in order. Your man could use them if he's been working two jobs!

But there's plenty of time for snuggling and stuff later. Right now, you're trying to do something - something really important - for the good of your family. I know it can be difficult, but it won't last forever. And I can promise you this: Once you're done, you'll be very glad you toughed it out!

- Dave

* For more financial help please visit daveramsey.com.

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Debt-free vs. Marriage

Rebecca in Council Bluffs, IA

I agree with the general concept of what you say, but did not agree with your statement that there will be plenty of time for snuggling later. There should always be time throughout a marriage for snuggling - even if it's only five minutes! Neither a man nor a woman can feel close to the other without time together with physical contact, and each partner needs to make time for the other. My husband and I have been married for ten years, and the whole time we have been in debt. Sometimes that debt has been a large amount and sometimes it has been small. Either way, throughout the struggle we have found that when we didn't make time for each other, we were more antagonistic toward each other. When time was made, even if it was five minutes, we were able to get past the somewhat loneliness and continue. As I said, I agree with most of what you said, but maybe you should clarify some of the statements that you made. Thank you.