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Finding Peace in the Mirror

The Quest for a Healthy Body Image
by Pamela H. Hansen

A lot of unhappiness results from agonizing over our physical appearance. But if we are able to see the divinity inherent in our wonderful mortal bodies, we can find a serenity and peace that eludes those who are caught up in the world's obsession with the so-called ideal body.

Society's obsession with the ideal
body is evident in the world around us.
Popular magazines, television, the Internet,
and billboards all celebrate the beauty of the
ideal human body. And the ideal body image
portrayed is so attractive and enticing that
we want to believe the message: looking like
those models is necessary for acceptance,
success, and happiness.

The reality is that except for the relatively few women who look like that "naturally,"
the rest of us come up short to some degree.
And without spending inordinate amounts
of time and money to achieve such a body,
or without submitting to extensive cosmetic
surgeries, we are never going to have what
the world defines as an ideal body. Most
of us would have to give up so much in
other areas of our lives to achieve the ideal
appearance that our lives would quite
literally fall apart.

But that isn't to say we shouldn't spend time and effort to ensure a healthy lifestyle.
There are aspects of our appearance that
we can and should seek to change. Much of
the information provided by knowledgeable
sources can be helpful, but if we only pay
attention to what the world says, we can easily
get distracted by an impractical and futile quest. Focusing on worldly achievements
and acceptance has never been the way to
true happiness, and an obsessive discontent
with our physical appearance can lead to
unhappiness and despair.

One of life's most difficult marathons for women--young and not so young--is that of
forming a healthy body image spiritually and
intellectually and then physically achieving
a body to match. As with actual marathons,
this marathon can be demoralizing at times
and exhilarating at others. For many of us,
this marathon is all about making changes--
changes in outlook, attitude, and behavior.

"The truth is that loving oneself--and one's body--is a discipline all its own. It
means challenging the images that the fashion
industry has foisted on us. It means
ignoring the voices that tell us that being
healthy is a distant second to being thin"
(Anne Ream, Chicago Tribune, 2007,
chicagotribune.com/news/opinion).

Why We Do What We Do

Often the challenges in our path seem insurmountable.
We don't like what we are facing.
We don't like the time and effort required to
make needed changes. Seeking to be comforted
or perhaps somewhat "in control,"
we are often tempted to turn to whatever
it is that makes us feel better. In times of
desperation or anxiety, where do we turn?
Especially when we want to feel better right
now! Do we surrender to addictive behavior?
Do we go overboard in our eating habits? Do
we depend on prescription drugs? Do we
write physical or emotional checks that our
bodies simply can't cash? On the flip side,
maybe we spend too much time and effort
sculpting our bodies. Are these addictive
behaviors ways of trying to capture an artificial happiness that consistently eludes us?

We must be willing to let go of whatever started us on our road of self-destruction
before we can move on.

Finding Motivation

How much energy do we waste assuming
others are thinking ill of us? But of everyone
you run into, there are only two opinions
that really matter. As we become more in
tune with our Heavenly Father and our
own personal standards, we come to understand
what we need to do to change--on the
outside as well as on the inside. Then that
energy wasted on what others think of us can
be channeled into something positive.
Working toward letting go of the world's
false image and fi nding a healthy, real
you--physically and spiritually--can be an
uplifting journey.

What It Takes

1. Preparation

Preparation is a determining factor in what
we are able to achieve. Daily we are faced
with decisions, and although those decisions
may seem trivial, they add up.
We can prepare to meet challenges or
temptations instead of waiting for the crisis
to decide how we will react. For instance,
how well do we think ahead to what we are
going to eat during the day? How well do we
plan a healthy menu for ourselves and our
family? How often do we plan physical activity,
instead of hoping to do it if we get the
chance? We counsel our youth to make decisions
before they are actually faced with the
situation. Do we do the same? Do you say to
yourself, "I'll be at the grocery store today;
what am I going to do as I pass by the treats
section? Can I not even go down there?"

During the time when President Gordon B. Hinckley was encouraging all of us to read
the Book of Mormon by the end of the year,
two things were at the top of his to-do list
each day: read in the Book of Mormon and
exercise. He felt the responsibility to care for
himself so that he could care for members
of the Church. And he made time to do it.
Certainly if President Hinckley made time
for scripture reading as well as exercise, we
ought to as well!

2. Perseverance

There will always be stones, boulders, and
at times brick walls to face on our road to
well-being. If we are blindsided by some
circumstance we haven't foreseen and get
knocked down, our challenge is to pick
ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and keep
going. As we persevere and achieve small
victories, we can feel empowered and gain
the strength to continue to make positive
decisions.
When I am sweating on the elliptical
machine or sizing up the hill ahead of me on
my morning walk, I sometimes ask myself,
How badly do I want this? I've asked myself
that over and over and over. When I persevere,
I feel greater inner strength and a more
robust sense of self-esteem, which has been
described by Dr. Steven Hawks as "a sense
of joy that is experienced when inherent
potential is discovered and realized" (Making
Peace with the Image in the Mirror, Bookcraft,
2001, 97).

The marathon task of forming and
achieving a body image that is both spiritually
sound and physically healthy may take a lifetime.
But the pursuit of it has been so satisfying
to me that I'm certain it is something I'll never
abandon. I refuse to give up. I have found,
and I know others who have also come to discover,
that converting an attitude from one of
indifference and hopelessness to honesty and
anticipation will bring about a mighty change
that has at its core a greater understanding of
who we are and whose we are.

3. Providing Tender Self-Care
Providing tender care for ourselves is a
simple concept that can be very difficult
to do, and yet is so necessary. Often, many
simply get so caught up in caring for others
that they don't set aside the needed time to
adequately care for themselves--physically,
emotionally, and spiritually.
Finding what works for us individually is
one of the keys. Taking a walk can make us
feel especially rejuvenated. So can stopping
in the middle of the day to put our feet up
for ten minutes. Pausing to plan and shop
for a healthy menu may seem diffi cult at
first, but it is greatly beneficial. Doing what
we can to get plenty of rest or a bubble bath
can also make a huge difference. Turning off
the radio in the car is a way we can tune out
at least some of the noise. Of course, if there
is a van full of children along, nice soothing
music may have a calming effect! Reading
a good book is uplifting. So is quilting or
painting or playing a musical instrument.
Certainly immersing ourselves in the scriptures,
personal prayer, and meditation can
help us to spiritually care for ourselves. Does it Really Work?

How do we know when it's working? I've
found that as it gets easier to make time
to exercise, the more desirable it becomes
to eat healthy and spend time reading the
scriptures. The resulting peace is sweet to
experience, and that reinforces our determination
to continue to take care of ourselves.

When I quit making excuses and actually look forward to how I'll feel after a workout
or a healthy meal, I not only feel better physically
and emotionally, but I know that I am
taking good care of this wonderful gift God
has given me.

---

Pamela H. Hansen is the author of Running with Angels and Finding the
Angel Within: Spirituality, Body Image,
and Self-Worth, from which this article
is excerpted.